By Chance – 100 Word Song

2012 05-19 Peach Festival28

“Brian?”

He dropped some peaches into his cart.  “Shannon.  You look… great.”

An awkward silence swallowed the seconds.

“I’ve missed you,” she said.

“It’s been what?  Two years?”

“Too long.”  She touched his arm.  “I’m sorry I was such a jerk.”

He pulled away.  “It’s in the past.”

“Wanna grab lunch?”

“I found your favorite creamer.”  A woman dropped the bottle in his cart.

Brian cleared his throat.  “Um, Shannon, this is my wife, Christina.”

Shannon gave a weak smile.  “I hope she treats you how I should have.” She turned and headed toward the bakery before tears betrayed her.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

This is my response to Lance’s (My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog) 100-word song writing challenge.  He provides a song on Tuesday, and gives one week for you to link a story.

This week, the song was “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars.  I think it’s a beautiful song.  So heartbreaking to realize too late that you could’ve given more.  If you’re inspired, check it out!

As for my story, I switched it up a little, making the woman the one with regrets (regret doesn’t know gender!)  There were so many more words that wanted to sneak into this story, but when I finally managed to hit the magic 100-word mark, I called it “good enough”!  I hope you enjoy it.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Advertisements

31 thoughts on “By Chance – 100 Word Song

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 8:54 AM

      Thanks, Vishal! That kind of regret would be miserable to process, I think.

  1. Imelda March 14, 2014 / 7:06 AM

    Ah, regrets! Too bad that realization comes too late. It will be nice for her to have a second chance at love though. 🙂

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 8:55 AM

      I’m sure she’ll find the right person and do things differently that time around. Thanks for reading, Imelda!

  2. suzicate March 14, 2014 / 7:54 AM

    You did really well with that challenge. I always enjoy reading what you come up with on these.

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 8:55 AM

      Thanks, Suzicate! I’m glad you enjoy reading these stories – I appreciate it 🙂

  3. Michael March 14, 2014 / 8:03 AM

    ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, as they say. …though, personally, I’m not entirely sure I agree with that sentiment. C’est la vie.

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 8:57 AM

      I’d have to agree with you Michael. It’s kind of like being doubled over in pain from food poisoning and saying, “At least I got a reservation at that hip new restaurant.” It’s hard to see the value or be particularly grateful for the experience when subjected to the misery of it all 🙂

  4. nrhatch March 14, 2014 / 8:36 AM

    Reminds me of this song by Fogelberg:

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 9:03 AM

      I hadn’t heard that song before, Nancy – thanks for sharing. It would be awful to experience the turmoil of visiting the past again.

  5. Sean March 14, 2014 / 9:52 AM

    This was good. I’m sure it was a struggle to just keep it to 100 words. Realizing faults in the past may help in the future as hopefully they will not be repeated. When we grow older, we are able to see things differently and there are times when you realize that there was a reason behind how things worked out. Sometimes we look back to our past and say that we should have done this or that differently but then we would not have become the person we are today. I know there is a plan for my life but I don’t have all the directions laid out or even want them laid out because I would probably try to reach the end result sooner than I am supposed to. Thank you for taking the time to share this.

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 10:52 PM

      I agree with your analysis, Sean. Sometimes we can look back and see that it all ended up okay, even if it felt so wrong at the time we went through it. Our experiences do form us and changing even one would change us. I had to laugh at your comment about rushing things if you knew the plan… I’d do the same thing 🙂 I appreciate you taking time to read my writing and share your thoughtful responses!

  6. Debbie March 14, 2014 / 11:56 AM

    “Regret doesn’t know gender.” Very true, Janna. Sounds like she shouldn’t have let this one get away (but we’ve all been there, right?!) Well written — how do you manage to consistently say so much in such few words??!!

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 10:55 PM

      I think most people do have a story of ‘the one that got away’, Debbie 🙂 I appreciate you reading, and your compliment made me smile. Sometimes I feel I fall miserably short of the mark.

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 10:59 PM

      I’m glad the awkwardness came through, Kathy. That would be horrible!

  7. diannegray March 14, 2014 / 2:03 PM

    Oh dear – too little too late. I love this and admire you for being able to create an entire scenario in so few words. This is a real art, Janna and you hit the mark every time! 😀

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 11:01 PM

      Thanks so much for reading- and for your kind/encouraging words, Dianne! I enjoy writing these challenges… it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something even when I’m not working on my novel.

  8. Eric Alagan March 14, 2014 / 5:35 PM

    A scene played out in many different countries, in many different times – and all too real.

    Well done, Janna

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 11:05 PM

      Thanks, Eric. I imagine this does happen. It would be embarrassing, for sure!

  9. pattyabr March 14, 2014 / 9:47 PM

    nice gender twist to your story. I’ll have to check out the lyrics

    • jannatwrites March 14, 2014 / 11:07 PM

      I hope you do check out the song, Patty. I like the song, and the message of it.

  10. CRD March 15, 2014 / 2:19 AM

    Hope she said the last words in her mind….otherwise, she’s ruined the rest of his life for him 😛

    Do drop by mine.

    Cheers
    CRD

    • jannatwrites March 15, 2014 / 12:13 PM

      I think he’s pretty much moved on – he and his wife will be fine. Shannon will, too…ones she moves on from the past and lets herself build a future 🙂 Thanks for reading, CRD!

  11. Lance March 15, 2014 / 3:43 PM

    Really solid interpretation and the gut punch you provided through dialogue was the most effective way.

    • jannatwrites March 17, 2014 / 8:58 PM

      Thanks, Lance! I had fun playing along this week 🙂

  12. GodGirl March 21, 2014 / 1:52 AM

    Love the emotional journey Shannon takes in so few words. Powerful – and such a satisfying ending!

  13. pattisj April 1, 2014 / 11:31 PM

    I liked your story. That’s a creative idea for a writing prompt.

    • jannatwrites April 2, 2014 / 8:27 AM

      I’m glad you enjoyed the story, Patti. Thanks for taking time to read it!

Got an opinion? Share it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s