Closure

When I see beauty, I see hope
When I see beauty, I see hope

I don’t know about you, but when I watch a movie with an open ending, I’m left feeling unsatisfied (like when I really need dark chocolate, but settle for crunchy Skittles because that’s all the candy the kids left in the house.)  I want to know how a story ends.  I want to know if I should laugh or cry, or just hope for the best knowing that sometimes “best” is elusive.

For weeks I’ve been trying to decide what to do with this space that I have adored for so long.  For six years, I have posted my writing and photos and have been encouraged, supported and befriended by many lovely people.  I always wanted this blog to be a positive in world that has too much negative.  For the most part, I think I did that.  For the first five years or so at least.

This brings me to now.  I am no longer JannaT and I no longer write so it doesn’t make sense to leave things hanging without an ending.  I don’t know who I am or who I will be- I just know that I won’t ever be who I was.  I will leave my blog here for now, a reminder of a chapter in my life, and perhaps it will entertain or encourage someone.  I have no idea if words will ever be a part of me again, or if I will feel joy or passion, or any of the things that make time on this earth bearable.  All I know is that as long as I breathe, I will strive to hope.

I really felt like I needed write something to thank all of the people who have perused my blog over the years.  I wanted to tell those who enjoyed my writing enough to follow me- I appreciate your support more than you know.  Lastly, I wanted to tell those that I got to know over the years that your friendship has meant a lot to me and I wish you all the best in your writing, photography, or wherever your passions lead you.

Peace and blessings to you all.

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23 thoughts on “Closure

  1. Lance June 8, 2016 / 8:53 AM

    I’m glad I met you through this medium. I’ve enjoyed your words very much. I’m glad we’ve made a relationship outside of here. Hang in there with the new chapter of your life.

  2. suzicate June 8, 2016 / 9:10 AM

    Janna, I wish you much love and happiness in life. You are a wonderful person and wonderful things will be in your future.Never lose hope. I hope someday you will write again. Your creativity always amazed and entertained me. Best wishes to you. You’ve enriched my life just by being you on your blog, and I thank you.

  3. newwhitebear June 8, 2016 / 9:11 AM

    When you do not know what to write, it is time to close. I hope your future will be better at the end of this blog.
    A hug

  4. Timothy Price June 8, 2016 / 9:29 AM

    Jann, I have various bags of chemo dripping into my system in what is a very intensive battle against a recurrence of lymphoma while a read and respond to your post. I have often wanted to give up my blogs, but I plug on. I changed the name and don’t worry if I miss a day or post extra on the same day, because a blog is good therapy. I started blogging 6 years ago in July under the same circumstances.

    I can understand that you want to let the old Janna go, but you should think about using a blog to identify the new Janna and allow the community to support you in that. There is always a little something to write about, a photo to post (like photos of your painted nails, your latest makeup, hairstyle and fashion ideas), just random thoughts. I encourage you to keep a blog going to keep in touch with you follows and we who want to give you positive support.

    Tim

  5. Debbie June 8, 2016 / 11:01 AM

    Janna, my heart always breaks a little when I read that someone I’ve come to know and appreciate has opted to shut down their blog. Yes, I understand why, but like a five-year-old, I still stamp my foot in frustration. I know you’ve taken some time to consider this decision. I know things in your life aren’t what they were (and maybe some of that’s a good thing??). BUT I also know you’ve got talent. Your short stories and poems have brightened a lot of lives during your six-year blogging spree, and I for one hate to see you give up on that. Realistically, I don’t want to “force” you to do something you don’t feel passionate about any more; however, maybe one day you’ll accept your gift and be in a better place…where you’re free to share yourself and your feelings again. When that happens, let me know, okay?? In the meantime, God Bless!

  6. nrhatch June 8, 2016 / 11:43 AM

    I’ve been thinking about you on and off since you posted at Easter, hoping that your next post would reveal that the sun has returned to your life. Sounds like that hasn’t happened . . . yet.

    From where I sit, you sound “depressed” ~> e.g., “I have no idea if words will ever be a part of me again, or if I will feel joy or passion, or any of the things that make time on this earth bearable.”

    When we are “depressed,” it is impossible to move from “rung 37” to “rung 3” on the happiness ladder in a single bound. We lack the energy and enthusiasm needed to even make the effort to reclaim the “joy” we used to feel.

    But that doesn’t mean we have to stay where we are . . . sometimes we can climb out of the abyss one rung at a time.

    An idea to consider might be posting once a week. If you don’t feel like writing, don’t write. Instead, find an uplifting quote, phrase, anecdote, or photo to share. Something that inspires you and refills your well (even if the lift doesn’t last).

    Doing that may help you feel connected to “us” . . . and that connection may be just what you “need.”

    Godspeed!

  7. pattisj June 8, 2016 / 2:25 PM

    You’re a writer, Janna. It will return. And just look at all the material you have to use now! But it may take some time. I’m here for you if you need a friend. Hugs!

  8. Imelda June 8, 2016 / 2:37 PM

    I am saddened by this, by the fact that you stopped writing, among others. But I wish you well in everything. Maybe, one day you’ll find joy in writing again and in many more. God bless you and ’til we ‘meet’ again.

  9. diannegray June 8, 2016 / 10:22 PM

    I just hope you find the right road and maybe it will eventually lead you back here, Janna. I will miss you xxxxx

  10. Widdershins June 9, 2016 / 2:20 PM

    I can’t beat what the others said about continuing to blog, to keep the connection going through wherever your Journey takes you next, so consider my voice added to them.

    In the meantime … ** hugs**

  11. Nurse Kelly June 9, 2016 / 4:37 PM

    Very sad to hear you are giving up the blog and sadder to hear you no longer write. You are a very gifted writer, Janna. I hope in time you will come back and write as the new you, as another commenter said. I wish you all the very best. xo

  12. Tessa June 10, 2016 / 3:15 AM

    Janna I was just wondering what happened to you. So sorry to see you go, but like others said if you don’t know what to write, it is time to stop. I will miss you and your words. Take care. Life can be a depressive mess sometimes. I should know. ❤

  13. agjorgenson June 12, 2016 / 7:05 PM

    Blessings to you as you move into the new place that is unfolding in your life. I am certain that, in some fashion, it will shape and be shaped by your love of words and story. Pax tecum.

  14. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) June 15, 2016 / 11:51 PM

    I will be waiting for your return. It will happen, one time or another. In the meantime stay safe and find new roads…

  15. GodGirl July 1, 2016 / 4:37 AM

    Please return, Janna! Keep in touch somehow – I’m at alisonleader@yaffa.com.au.
    Praying that you’d hold onto hope, and your dream of becoming a published author. You really do have what it takes.
    Love and hugs,
    GodGirl/ Ali

  16. joannesisco July 4, 2016 / 2:46 AM

    It seems you’ve chosen not to respond to comments. I’ve noticed your absence and I miss your stories. Like others said before me, I had hoped you would find your way out of the sadness you’ve been wrapped in for so long now.

    I hope this isn’t a good-bye from blogging and one day you will find your way back ❤

  17. Emilio Pasquale July 11, 2016 / 7:24 AM

    Janna, please add my name to the list of those who will miss you. I think of you often and had hoped, several times, that you would return to us all. But I guess I was ignoring what I had been through and forgotten the path I had to take to get where I am today. It took me several years of trying to find myself during my darkest of times. Two years of therapy and botched relationships and finally thoughts of possibly ending all the pain when hope came back into my life. I had a blog for years and shut it down very suddenly one day. Two years later I stepped back in with a new name, a new identity, a new persona. I hope you will find that path and return to us all one day. Take care of yourself and your son.

  18. Eric Alagan July 13, 2016 / 9:08 PM

    So very sad to see you stop writing. I’ll always treasure what we shared here. I’m going to miss you, my dear – really really miss you.
    And I look forward to having you back.
    God bless and be with you and your son, always,
    Your friend from Singapore,
    Eric

  19. philosophermouseofthehedge July 18, 2016 / 4:31 PM

    So you really are free flowing in the universe. Please drop by or send up a signal when you perch for a bit – meanwhile go with joy and peace and wonder.

  20. Emilio Pasquale October 3, 2016 / 7:26 AM

    Funny how this happened, my stopping by to let you know I still think of you, wonder how your life is turning out. i was reading someone’s post this morning and in their blog roll was this link. Your blog. Who was I reading? Note To Self! 🙂 Have a good day, Janna.

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