For some time, I’ve been researching, reading, watching videos and asking questions about repainting decks, as I’ve never done this type of project before. On Wednesday morning, I finished the final step in the prep work: scrubbing and rinsing. I was finally ready, and I had big plans to cross the deck off my checklist by the end of the weekend. I planned to apply the primer tonight and spend Sunday finishing the two coats of paint.
Then, it rained.
The weather wreaked havoc on my plans. I looked at the forecast and there is a greater than 50% chance of rain for the next two days. Since the deck needs to dry at least 48 hours before painting, there is no way this project will be completed right now. I was disappointed, and a little angry. (It’s Arizona… it never rains…. why now?) It was as if the time spent prepping it had been wasted, and I was devoured by pesky mosquitoes for nothing.
I couldn’t help but notice the parallel between the deck and my life. The “plans” I make keep unraveling at the seams leaving me with only threads to grasp onto. I used to know (or think I knew) what my life was about, but over the last few months, I’ve come to the realization that I have no clue. Funny thing is, I’m starting to accept this. It’s not always easy. I want to revert into the coziness of plans. I long for the stability of being able to anticipate tomorrow based on what happened today. Sometimes I seek the shelter of “same” only to find it doesn’t exist.
Life is changing me. I’m frantically grasping to make something from the undone plans less and less. I’m learning to let them go so that new un-plans will happen. So, it rained; I can’t change that no matter how much I want to.
I could choose to sulk in a sour mood, but instead, I’m ready to embrace whatever life brings me this weekend. Besides, there’s a great chance it will be much more fun than painting :)
You may have noticed I haven’t posted much lately- or read others’ blogs as I used to. The nearly 500 emails is evidence of my neglect. I’m sorry about this, and I do intend to get better about both. It’s a struggle to just wake up most days, but I’m still fighting it. I think my next post will be a fiction story for Emilio’s photo that he sent me for May. However, if life has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t plan on that, so I won’t make a promise I can’t keep :)