It Rained.

06-04 Deck

For some time, I’ve been researching, reading, watching videos and asking questions about repainting decks, as I’ve never done this type of project before.  On Wednesday morning, I finished the final step in the prep work: scrubbing and rinsing.  I was finally ready, and I had big plans to cross the deck off my checklist by the end of the weekend. I planned to apply the primer tonight and spend Sunday finishing the two coats of paint.

Then, it rained.

The weather wreaked havoc on my plans. I looked at the forecast and there is a greater than 50% chance of rain for the next two days. Since the deck needs to dry at least 48 hours before painting, there is no way this project will be completed right now. I was disappointed, and a little angry.  (It’s Arizona… it never rains…. why now?)  It was as if the time spent prepping it had been wasted, and I was devoured by pesky mosquitoes for nothing.

I couldn’t help but notice the parallel between the deck and my life. The “plans” I make keep unraveling at the seams leaving me with only threads to grasp onto. I used to know (or think I knew) what my life was about, but over the last few months, I’ve come to the realization that I have no clue. Funny thing is, I’m starting to accept this. It’s not always easy. I want to revert into the coziness of plans. I long for the stability of being able to anticipate tomorrow based on what happened today.  Sometimes I seek the shelter of “same” only to find it doesn’t exist.

Life is changing me. I’m frantically grasping to make something from the undone plans less and less. I’m learning to let them go so that new un-plans will happen. So, it rained; I can’t change that no matter how much I want to.

I could choose to sulk in a sour mood, but instead, I’m ready to embrace whatever life brings me this weekend.  Besides, there’s a great chance it will be much more fun than painting 🙂

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You may have noticed I haven’t posted much lately- or read others’ blogs as I used to.  The  nearly 500 emails is evidence of my neglect.  I’m sorry about this, and I do intend to get better about both.  It’s a struggle to just wake up most days, but I’m still fighting it.  I think my next post will be a fiction story for Emilio’s photo that he sent me for May.  However, if life has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t plan on that, so I won’t make a promise I can’t keep 🙂

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46 thoughts on “It Rained.

  1. nrhatch June 5, 2015 / 6:41 AM

    Hi Janna! Hang in there . . .

    * Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. ~ Vivian Greene

    * A certain amount of opposition is a great help. Kites rise against the wind, not with it. ~ John Neal

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:21 PM

      Thanks for the encouraging quotes, Nancy. I’ve not learned to dance in the rain yet… I guess I keep looking up with my mouth opened and nearly drown 😉 I’ll get the hang of it someday!

  2. Timothy Price June 5, 2015 / 7:27 AM

    People have spent untold amounts of energy trying to figure out how to make it rain, but you have now learned the secret — start a project. Like AZ, it never rains in NM either, especially in May, but wouldn’t you know it, the minute we get the old roof off the office in preparation for the new roof we got an inch of rain. Note it wasn’t a mud spitting 0.01″ of ran that we often get after washing the cars, but a full gully washing inch of rain that soaked the carpets with water filtered through a 100 years of pigeon bones and carcasses, leaving the smell of a wet dog that rolled in something dead in the area where my office is and my programmers work. So far all the rain dancing cloud seeding and hocus pocus directed at the skies over the millenniums, you and I know the secret of how to make it rain.

    As the French say “les choses sont contre nous!” Things are truly against us. Hang in there Janna! It will dry out soon enough (another advantage to the dry AZ and NM air).

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:26 PM

      Isn’t it funny how it seems the rain comes and goes based on our projects? I lived in NM for nine years as a child, and I do remember I could always count on wind, but rain, not so much 🙂 I’m sorry about the mess it caused you (but you’ve provided quite a vivid description of the smell!) I did manage to get my deck completed in a narrow window of opportunity before temps became too high. Finally, something worked out in my favor, haha!

  3. Tessa June 5, 2015 / 7:31 AM

    Sending some positive vibes and prayers your way. You sound like you need them. Take care.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:27 PM

      Thanks, Tessa. Waking up each day is about as much as I can handle. I keep waiting for things to get better. I’ve got to change my frame of mind somehow.

  4. philosophermouseofthehedge June 5, 2015 / 7:49 AM

    It’s the Great Adventure – each day. Who knows. (but it makes it so difficult to get things done in a timely fashion….)
    I give up….also had almost as many WP cheery emails causing guilt in my inbox…sigh. When life has other plans, there you are – so just be there instead. (lovely quotes by NR Hatch)
    Smile and dance – might as well. fretting is tiring…(I keep telling myself)

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:29 PM

      My blog emails are over 800. I’m going to have to delete most and just start over I think. Getting out of bed each day is hard enough… the thought of tackling that elephant is just daunting 😉 Your comment about fretting made me smile. I keep trying to talk myself out of this funk, but it’s not working so well yet. Thanks for your comment, Phil.

      • Tessa July 2, 2015 / 9:46 PM

        My blog emails were over 2000 there for awhile. I have the 2 blogs and they are taking off.

        • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:54 PM

          Wow, if mine get to that point, I might just give up. I really need to get out of this fog 🙂

        • Tessa July 2, 2015 / 10:37 PM

          It would be a real shame if you gave up. I love your writing and miss it!

        • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 10:39 PM

          Thanks, Tessa – I better get a handle on things before I get that many emails, then, haha! I actually have a post almost ready for tomorrow and am working out how to tackle the email situation (probably a little at a time!)

        • Tessa July 3, 2015 / 7:53 PM

          Yes I tackled it a little at a time, but I don’t have a job or children and have more time. Maybe you will feel better if you write. I know it helps me.

  5. Debbie June 5, 2015 / 8:14 AM

    I’ve missed seeing you here, Janna! Sounds as if you’ve been busy, though, and maybe that’s a good thing. “An idle mind” and all that! The weather has been odd everywhere — seems like we didn’t even have a spring before it soared right up to the mid-80s, complete with thunderstorms and humidity. Yuck! But we can’t change it; all we can do is change our attitude, go with the flow. As for making plans, what is it they say? “Man plans, and God laughs.” Right?! Here’s hoping you’ll complete your deck project soon (it looks good to me!) and continue to embrace the joys that come your way!

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:30 PM

      Thanks, Debbie. I’ve been busy with stuff that has to get done and too tired for the want-to-do things. I did manage to get the deck done during a tiny window of opportunity between rain and high temps. It required a couple of late nights and early mornings, but I have to say it turned out pretty good 🙂

  6. TheLastWord June 5, 2015 / 8:42 AM

    I used to teach project planning ( actually, I still do…) and my favorite saying is “The best plan is the plan you make at the end of the project”. Hang in there!!

    I live in the Toronto area and I have no idea how anyone finds the clear days to finish their decks. That’s why mine isn’t done.

    That… and laziness 🙂

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:31 PM

      That’s funny – good point about places like that… how do they get anything done?!

  7. the dune mouse June 5, 2015 / 9:34 AM

    hang in there Janna!! Thank you for sharing as I can relate the rain falling on the “best laid plans of mice and men ( or women)!!

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:33 PM

      I’m still hanging in there, TDM (barely!) I keep thinking things will get better. I may have some resolution on things near the end of the month, so maybe that will help. Time will tell 🙂

  8. Widdershins June 5, 2015 / 12:10 PM

    Washing the car works as a rainmaking device as well! 🙂 Probably less skeeter bites too. Glad to hear you’re rollin’ with it.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:34 PM

      Oh, I’ve done the washing the car one, Widdershins! I was able to get the deck done during what turns out was the only window of opportunity I would have until September. Finally, something went my way, haha.

  9. Michael June 5, 2015 / 1:13 PM

    I know the feeling of having to roll with what life throws at you. Hang in there, Janna.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:34 PM

      Thanks, Michael. I’m hanging in here. Hope to catch up on some writing soon, but my mind isn’t cooperating right now.

  10. joannesisco June 5, 2015 / 4:19 PM

    Sorry to hear you are struggling Janna. I hope you get sunny skies – both figuratively and literally.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:35 PM

      Thanks, Joanne! The skies are sunny weather-wise. As for the other, I struggle with my frame of mind daily. I am looking forward to a time when waking up isn’t a chore.

  11. Leigh W. Smith June 7, 2015 / 7:47 AM

    I can imagine the frustration, Janna. In any case, I hope you will be back to working with Emilio’s photos and have a sun-soaked day to finish your deck very soon!

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:38 PM

      Thanks, Leigh. I did get the deck completed but am still struggling with the writing. This darkness has been so deep, so lengthy and so overwhelming.

      • Leigh W. Smith July 4, 2015 / 10:47 AM

        I’m so sorry, Janna. I know you know that a lot of people are praying and sending many of our positivities your way. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Crow movie (it’s kind of violent; not Game of Thrones violence per se, but not sedate either), but there’s a quote in that that I’ve always latched onto for myself. ‘It can’t rain forever,’ I believe it goes. I wish you much light and love, as ever (glad to see you writing online again, too)! And happy 4th, if you & the kids celebrate.

        • jannatwrites July 19, 2015 / 8:38 PM

          Thanks, Leigh. I haven’t seen the Crow but that is a good quote. Just when I think I may be back, I slip back down again. It is true that it can’t go on forever 🙂

  12. judithhb June 8, 2015 / 8:00 PM

    “Do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards.” said Vladimir Nabokov. So we live with rain that falls at the most inopportune time and know that when it stops there will be time for sunshine. Take care and enjy ‘the great adventure’.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:38 PM

      Thanks, Judith. We do just have to go with things when it comes to life 🙂

  13. agjorgenson June 9, 2015 / 5:31 PM

    Hey there, keep fighting and writing and doing what gives you joy!

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:40 PM

      Thanks, Allen. I paused when I read your comment because joy has been absent and I want to do nothing. I’m struggling to change this state of mind but it’s kind of like trying to climb out of quick sand. I just take each day as it comes…

      • agjorgenson July 3, 2015 / 7:00 AM

        Each day is all we have so it seems wise to me to take them one at a time. Peace and prayers to you in this difficult time, Janna.

  14. pattisj June 15, 2015 / 5:42 PM

    It’s always a pleasure to catch up with you and see what you’ve been up to, whenever that happens. I’m still waiting for a deck/patio/whatever. Oh, well, at least I don’t have to scrub it and paint it! Keep your chin up, Janna. Hugs!

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:41 PM

      Thanks, Patti. A covered deck would definitely be better, but hey, we live and learn 🙂 The painting of it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The hardest part was the thickness of the paint, it was hard to work with for me.

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:42 PM

      Rain is a blessing… it’s not the rain’s fault that it didn’t fit into my plans/schedule 🙂

  15. GodGirl June 24, 2015 / 3:16 PM

    It’s so hard to accept those things we have no control over. Control is an illusion to some degree hey? Praying we’d all have wisdom to know which things we must accept, for now, and which things we can change.
    Take care xx

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:43 PM

      Control is a struggle for me. The thing is, it’s just an illusion that gives a false sense of security. Thanks for stopping by, GodGirl 🙂

  16. Kathy Combs (@KathyCombs16) June 25, 2015 / 7:59 PM

    Hang in there! One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn about life is to just roll with it and live with it. Things happen for a reason…always. You have to be flexible. I am not a planner…I live life. I just take it as it comes. Sure it gets frustrating, but it is a lot less stressful if you just let it go and live. It will get done. Good luck with your project! ♥

    • jannatwrites July 2, 2015 / 9:45 PM

      Thanks, Kathy. I did manage to get the deck project completed. Things do happen for a reason and perhaps when my state of mind gets somewhere else, I can see this, and appreciate it 🙂 I hope you are doing well 🙂

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