Marriage is funny. Maybe it’s because people are funny? In life, I know that people’s tastes vary. I understand that when I write a blog post, poem or short story, not everyone will like it. I am aware that when I don my favorite clothes, someone will pity me for leaving the house looking that ridiculous.
I’m okay with this. Really, I am. So I find it curious that I’m always surprised when I find that my hubby’s taste and mine are polar opposites. Just because we’ve been married for so long doesn’t mean that he’s adopted my good taste. (For those who aren’t familiar with me or my writing, that last sentence was pure, undiluted sarcasm. It’s especially dangerous in large doses.)
For many weeks, we have been trying to find a contractor to do some work on our house (that’s another post – or eight.) Hubby and I discussed ideas on what to do with our shower. He wanted Travertine, I agreed it was pretty, but required too much maintenance (especially from a man who won’t pick up soap slivers off the floor!) He then moved on to wanting shiny/glossy tiles. With our hard water, constant cleaning would be needed to keep them shiny. Neither one of us is up to that task. I would prefer a smooth, matte finish, in a shade of brown resembling dirt.
With neither one of us budging on the shower tile selection, I decided to focus my efforts on rectifying another mistake. A little over a year ago, I replaced my boring 16-year old Corelle dishes with an updated set of stoneware dishes.
Children loading and unloading the dishes have not been kind. The plates have not aged well, and some have suffered early deaths breakages. I have an unopened box meant to supply replacements, but I’ve decided that Corelle is a better choice for our house. I know of a home without children where our brand new beautiful stoneware dishes would have a longer, chip-free life.
Hubby and I found a Corelle square-plate pattern we liked, but I’d hoped to find a better price. During my search for bargains, I found another pattern I loved and was so excited for hubby to see it because it cost less money, too.
I was deflated when hubby asked if I was serious and said something about them being “ugly, seventies flowers.” <sigh.>
I’m disappointed, but not totally surprised, that he didn’t love the Mandarin Flower pattern as much as I did. What does surprise me is that we have our walls painted, pictures purchased and hung, and furniture throughout the house – all proof that we are capable of reaching agreements.
Update: After a couple hours spent helping hubby type up something for his work, he told me to order the plates I liked. His green light should have sent me to the computer to click “submit order” before he changed his mind. The problem was that I wanted him to agree with the choice, not sacrifice his opinion so I could have my way.
He did agree to see them in person. If it doesn’t work out, there’s always that first pattern we saw, whose name pretty well sums up what I’m looking for: Harmony.
Do you and your significant other have similar or different tastes?
JannaTWrites 
You’re a better woman than me…when it comes to dishware, I but what I like without even bothering to ask the hubby what he likes….he really doesn’t care as long as he gets to eat!!!
I couldn’t do that because hubby does care about most of it. I try to keep his taste in mind when narrowing down or choices. Sometimes it takes a while, but we eventually find something we can agree on. (And if not, we save some money because we don’t buy anything :))
For most men its a case of they say nice things but in the end they could care less.
I suppose many men could be like that, but my hubby usually has an opinion, Duke. When he doesn’t care, he says so and I’m on my own!
Here’s my take on when the Lovely Mrs. Tim Weaver asks my opinion about crap for the house:
“Sure, whatever.”
Seriously, I will tell her if I hate it or dislike it. If I don’t, I really don’t care.
If we go out to eat, she asks the inevitable “what do you want?” My answer: “I don’t want X, Y, or Z.” If she suggests something that I hadn’t considered and that I don’t want, I’ll let her know.
I really am decoration and food agnostic, unless it’s something I dislike. Then you’ll know.
I reserve my strong opinions about stuff that really matters…you know, those weighty decisions that can change the world or ruin a marriage, or both:
Like what toothpaste to buy.
I wasn’t expecting toothpaste to be a critical decision. You got me on that one, Tim!
Luckily, my hubby is kind of the same way. And the things that have been important to him, I’ve agreed with, so there haven’t been any issues. On most other things, I suspect I could pester my hubby until I get my way, but I prefer to find something that we both like without coercion 🙂
We are completely different. I’m constantly surprised that we like each other 🙂
You’re funny, Tori! It must be fun furnishing your house 😉
I’m pretty lucky. LRHG and I share many of the same tastes. We also share many differences … some absolutely don’t matter to one or the other of us, depending on the subject at hand, so we just ignore them, or make noncommittal murmurs of agreement or approval, and in a few things, we’re diametrically opposed to each other. Music is one example … my tastes are pretty eclectic, and she doesn’t like a lot of it, so I play it when she’s not around. Simple solve. She likes to garage sale … I smile and nod when she shows me all the crap she brings home. Admittedly, sometimes she brings home a find, but most of it’s crap. Who am I to spoil her fun? I drive her crazy with my kitchen toy fetish. I have 2 slow cookers, a stove top grill, an electric fry pan, a griddle, a waffle iron, a sandwich press, an espresso/cappuccino maker, a coffee maker (and I don’t drink coffee!), toaster oven, convection oven (with ritisserie), three complete sets of chef’s knives … you get the drift.
Most of the time, we agree. As I said, I’m lucky.
I’ve always liked terra cotta tile as well, JT. It’s practical, attractive. Certainly going to feature in the house(s) I’m designing. LRHG gets input, of course, but the design decisions are mine as she knows nothing about architecture, construction or the climate where we’re building. I’ll compensate by giving her more latitude on the interior design.
Of the two choices of dinnerware, I prefer Harmony. Mandarin Flower is attractive enough, but I think I’d tire of it pretty quickly. Chefs dictate regularly that you eat with your eyes first, which might be why they typically have white dinnerware in restaurants … a blank canvas. Not sure how some of my dishes would plate up on the floral pattern. Moussaka might look like something the dog should be eating.
Maybe the compromise solution to the shower tile is to get a water softener as part of the renovation? 🙂
Just curious – what do you do with coffee/espresso makers if you don’t drink it? I have quite an assortment of kitchen gadgets, but nothing like what you have. Only because we don’t have room for such a collection.
The shower tile may solve itself – we had a guy at a tile store tell him the glossy tile wasn’t easy maintenance. If someone besides me tells him, he will listen 😉
As for the dishes, the Harmony pattern was our first choice, but it was twenty dollars more a set. I’ll keep hunting for a bargain. See, that one will solve itself, too. The wrinkles smooth out eventually…
LRHG drinks coffee, where I’m caffeine intolerent (as compared to caffeine addicted, which I was once upon a time). Funnily, espresso/cappuccino doesn’t seem to affect me, and I adore cappuccino, so we have a coffee machine for her and the other for us both.
I only scratched the surface of my kitchen addiction. Thought I’d gone on long enough, and we barely have space for all my toys, either. Don’t get LRHG started on all the power tools we barely have space for, or it’s “move over, doggie … we’re sharing a bunk tonight”. 🙂
Sounds like you may have your solution to the tile problem. Good luck with the dinnerware. Any online sources have it for less?
Thanks for the suggestion, Crumbl. Unfortunately, I haven’t found online deals – after shipping is added, it costs more than going to the store. I’ll check a few of our discount stores to see if they happen to have the pattern, otherwise, I’ll just do nothing for right now (the same thing I seem to be doing with everything else ;))
We won’t get into the extent of your toy collecting. I’d sure hate for your dog to get crowded out of his house again. Poor thing deserves uninterrupted sleep!
Our home which is currently “done” in the style of late-American half-way through some process and would have looked nicer if we had left it well enough alone. What? You aren’t familiar with that ouevre? It’s all the rage! ; )
Mr. Coffee thinks he should do what his parents did, which means something…beige, but if he lets me run with things, he is always “happy” with the results (as in “this room makes me feel happy”). I’d much rather be happy than beige. He would too. But he has a lot of baggage that stands between him and yellow.
I do wonder how many househould decisions get made because of baggage rather than joy?
I also marvel at the idea that men don’t care about these things. My experience has been so contrary to that. VERY contrary. Often…frustratingly so.
For dishes, we are still at the sippie-cup, plastic plate stage, so I have yet to find out about that one! But I am sure Mr. Coffee would not have been down with the flowers either.
Not sure how that “which” got in there. Man, I hate typos.
Unfortunately, I know all about half-done decor, Momsomniac. We are in a years-long process of replacing everything with brass accents in our house. Everything is so expensive, I just don’t know if we’ll ever get done!
Luckily, my hubby isn’t color-resistant. He went along with the colors I picked for the house a few years ago – we even have a merlot-colored accent wall in our bedroom. (The part he didn’t like was the six months it took to get the walls painted.)
Flowers normally are an automatic ‘no’, but sometimes with the non-pastel colors, they can get by. This time, not so much 🙂
Thanks for sharing your comments. I was beginning to think my hubby wasn’t normal because he likes to have an opinion on the house stuff. Well, there’s still a good chance he isn’t normal… 🙂
The more I read your blog, the more I wonder if our husbands are secretly related. Mr. Coffee cares sooooooooo much about ALL of it!
We have the half-brass thing going on too! Maybe we could start a trend.
They sure are similar! There’s no way I’d even try to sneak in a decor decision without his input – he would surely notice. So we debate knobs vs. levers, lighting fixture styles and even bathroom towel colors.
The half-brass thing is some kind of trend. It’s probably much more popular than we even realize 😉
So much of marriage is give and take, isn’t it? Same as life in general. I’ve found that the one for whom the decision matters most usually gets his/her way! By the way, I like both the new sets of dishes!
Thanks, Debbie!
I agree – there are some things were we share our opinions, but one person gets the final decision. For instance, when my husband got a new truck a few years ago, I told him what our budget was. He wanted 4-wheel drive and I thought it was a waste of money. He found a truck within our budget that had 4-wheel drive, so that’s what we got. My car purchase worked much the same way.
I’m glad you visited today!
My tastes are different from my husband’s tastes. He generally lets me choose on matters of house decorations and themes since I’m the one that cleans and keeps house. I don’t know the answer to the problem, really. My hubby values our relationship enough to give me my way on things that matter more to me than to him. In matters that seem more relevant to him, I acquiesce to his choices. It’s a matter of what we decide is my domain and what we deem to be his domain. Some couples may not see a clear division, especially in these days when men share in housework and women share in earning household income. There is a blending of domains and interests.
Perhaps you will both agree on a pattern for your dinnerware. If not, clickity click and accept your hubby’s sweet sacrifice to please his dear wife. Your day to bless him will come. Blessings to you, Janna…
Luckily, our differences are not too difficult to resolve. When we look long enough, we often find a solution, so I’m not too worried about it! I do agree with what you said about some things mattering more to one person or the other – in which case, that person should have final say.
As for the dishes, I think we’ll end up with Harmony, but not until I find a better deal on them because I won’t pay that much!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on these household compromises, Carol 🙂
BFF and I agree on most things . . . and we both like the Harmony pattern much better than the Mandarin Flowers. 😀
I’m glad you and BFF agree – it’s much easier that way! I do like the Harmony pattern, too (but I liked the price of the other one better.) I’ll probably end up with the Harmony when I find it for a better price. (We have lots of blues and greens in the house, so it will probably go better anyway….but I do love red, gray and black together :))
Thanks for sharing your opinion, Nancy!
Husband loves the brass. I am slowly replacing brass. By the time everything is replaced, brass will again be “in”. I think that is his intention by stalling.
You’ve got a point, Chlost. Maybe I should have been keeping all of our brass stuff so I could change it back later! I’m pretty sure my hubby doesn’t care as much as I do, but he’s going along with it anyway (except the doorknobs. Those are so expensive, neither one of us is ready to go there yet.)
I have white plates so if they get chipped or broken I can easily replace them. White goes with everything right? Corelle has some great designs (as I was passing the display in Target) And yes people and marriage is funny
White would be the smart way to go, but I just love patterns. (Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that I’m not smart :)) I have some white serving plates and bowls, but that’s about it. When we bought our stoneware dishes, Corelle didn’t have a square plate pattern that I liked. Now, they have several.
Thanks for stopping by tonight, Patty!
So you get a set of plates for you and a set for the hubby. Then you can use your dishes when you cook for each other!! Now that is smart!
That’s funny, Patty! I think I’d drive myself nuts wtih two sets of dishes (it’s a short trip.)
Hubby and I have similar tastes in what we like. He lets me pick the colors, says I’m better at it than he. If he painted, everything would probably be grey. I on the other hand, lean toward earth tones, but like a dash of bolder color for accent. On a vacation trip to Florida, I was so taken with the fun colors prevalent there, I decided that home should feel like a vacation every day. So we have been painting–for years, it seems–and I envy that you got something done in six months! It’s definitely a relaxing environment; but there is still much more painting to do. And yes, we had antique brass for everything, but it is slowly and surely being replaced with brushed nickel, but the brass doorknobs remain. I really like them.
We had off-white colored walls for the first ten years (his choice). I thought he would have a coronary when I suggested colors. Luckily, he went for it. We have yellows, greens, browns and even our merlot accent wall. The only thing white is the ceilings.
I don’t mind antique brass at all. Unfortunately, our brass is the shiny brass, and some of our knobs are spotty and discolored. We are moving to brushed nickel. I hope we get our colors changed before the trends move to something else (and we can’t find anything we like in brushed nickel!)
Thanks for visiting, Patti!
Love the harmony pattern. They look soooo pretty..When it comes to household stuff, my hubby has no preferences..Except for the bathroom.He likes it all white.. So we’re cool. He decides the bathroom stuff, I decide the rest 🙂
You know, after a few more days of studying the patterns, I’m leaning toward the Harmony, too.
I’m glad you and your hubby have it all worked out on who decides what. (I’d let mine have the bathroom, too if I could have everything else :))
Thanks for stopping by, Dorcas!