I Won’t Break

01-12 Snow

I bent over backwards,

turned inside out,

to create the illusion of peace.

Whenever the dust settled,

you blew through again,

disrupting the balance.

***

Shoulders hunched, back bowed

from the weight of life,

I wait out the storm.

Each breath anticipates

the point in time

when I can stand tall once more.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

Inspiration:  During our recent snowstorm, I saw this young tree bent from the weight of snow.  When I spotted it, I immediately thought that it was nature’s representation of me.  Several times, I went outside and shook the snow off of it and it would spring back to the upright position.  I have hope that I, too, will bounce back like this little tree.

Stop And Smell The (Faux) Pine Trees

Look deep into the lights...relax...

This time of year takes a conscious effort so I don’t fall into the “hustle and bustle” of the holidays.  Of course, the hustle is just the marketing ads that promote “must-have” deals that we’ll be sorry if we don’t buy, and the bustle is shoppers getting cranky at crowds who left their manners at home.

Shopping aside, there are dozens of other “to do” items that I have scrawled out on scrap pieces of paper littering the top of my desk.  I flipped through two magazines on Tuesday just to get them off my list – and my desk.  I scanned the list for any other easy ones to scratch off.  After I drew lines through ‘pay bills’ and ‘check kids’ homework’, I glanced at the first item on the list that I had been avoiding:  ‘Christmas cards.’

Tempted to skip it again, in favor of something a little less time-consuming, I wondered when writing to friends and family became a task to procrastinate, like scrubbing the toilets or vacuuming floors.  Sure, it takes some effort to write the name and address and affix the stamps and mailing label after I write a short message on the card, but it’s not an arduous or miserable task by any means.

I think it’s the handwriting part that gets me.  My writing is not the prettiest in the world, but I just can’t bring myself to type a family update letter.  It seems so impersonal.  We get a few of them every year, and I do read them, but I don’t feel any warmth or connection because I know the letters weren’t written just for me – they were for a broad audience.

I wrote eight cards on Tuesday night, and two on Wednesday – each time enjoying a cup of hot tea as I wrote.  Breaking up the writing helps the legibility and seeing my quick progress takes away the stress I fabricated about not having started them.  The lemon and apple cinnamon herbal teas I sipped at each sitting were gifts for my taste buds and made it a pleasure rather than a chore.

Speaking of gifts, Sammy and Lizzy sure do enjoy their early Christmas gift.  (It’s not actually for them, but they’ve claimed it as their own…we’ve already had one ornament casualty.)

Even as I receive cards in the mail from people who have it more together than me, I am not flustered.  I know by Monday, my cards will be in the mail, hand written, with a family picture.  Since we have not seen many of them for a year or more, at least they will know what we look like!

What creates stress for you?  What do you do to avoid holiday stress?  Do you still mail Christmas cards?