Have you ever been so focused on one thing that other things to do are neglected – they slip by unnoticed and undone? If I get engrossed in a project, meals get skipped, bathroom breaks are forgotten- until it’s almost too late- and muscles become knotted because I forget to let myself stretch. (Please tell me this isn’t just me!)
Since we moved from big city to small town in March, I’ve mentioned to my husband several times that I need to look for a church here. I also say that I need to get a drain stopper for my younger son’s sink…I need to fix the window screens with holes in them…I need to work on my novel more. Our attention has been directed toward getting the yard cleaned up and we’ve made progress…but it means other things are not getting done. (I’m not Wonder Woman after all…but oh, how fun that would be!)
You might be wondering, “If you want to find a church so badly, how come you don’t get it done?” Simple answer: my shyness and social anxiety have been stronger than my desire to find a church. Since my husband works on Sundays, I wouldn’t have him to lean on. Yet, I’m not disciplined enough yet to study the Bible regularly on my own, so I really do need the weekly nudge to keep me motivated. This has been my struggle for the last few months.
As we drove home from watching fireworks on the Fourth of July, I saw a church and commented again, “I really need to look into finding a church here. I miss it.”
On Saturday, my husband called and told me about an ad on the radio about a generator for sale. He looked at it and liked it, so I met him at the person’s house, checkbook in hand. We got to talking to the people and it turns out they are part of the worship band at a nearby Bible church. (Oh, we’re small town now, so everything is nearby :razz:)
Long story short, I’m going to swallow my nerves (and eat a light breakfast, just in case) and go to the church service today. Everyone in town has been friendly, so I can only attribute my anxiety to leftover issues from my childhood. I read through several Bible verses last night to try to calm my increasing worries. (What if I get lost on the way…I don’t know where to take the kids…what if I run late and can’t find a seat…what if I find a seat, but it’s all the way in front…oh the list went on.) I liked these two best:
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. (Proverbs 12:25)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
Today, I pray that God will replace my inner turmoil with serenity and ease my social apprehension so it is not a hindrance in seeking a new church home. I ask that He banish my superficial worries so that my ears and heart will be open.
Do you have fears/worries that churn inside you? How do you find peace?