Representation of Me

Reflections shifting on rippling water,

A breathing oil-on-canvas,

Mesmerizes, hypnotizes…

Introspection draws me deeper.

Only from a distance,

Can I envision the scene,

The lines between colors…

Nature’s representation of me.

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I haven’t posted poetry in a while, so I figured it was about time.  As I’ve done before, I’m going to share what I was thinking as I wrote it.

When I looked at the lake, it occurred to me that the reflections of the clouds and trees on the rippled water looked almost like an oil painting on canvas.  As I often do, I drew comparisons and related this to me and my life.

I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at an oil painting up close, but I find it fascinating how what looks like nothing more than blotches of different hues of green can suddenly turn into a beautiful tree when I take a couple steps back.  This is exactly how my life is right now.  I’ve been in the trenches of difficulty for most of this year and I had been submerged in darkness and hopelessness.  Up close, I failed to see beyond the mess that is “now”.

It’s only been the last couple months that I have been able to take those important steps back so I could see that, although my life seems to be just blotches of colors, it’s the beginning of so much more.  From a distance, I can envision beauty emerging at some point in the future.

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Haiku – State Of Mind

Ice, but not solid.

Thrill-seeker?  Avid fisher?

Brave?  Nuts?  Maybe both.

Lake wasn’t quite frozen at shore. Yikes!

When we explored eastern Arizona recently, we caught sight of people on top of a frozen lake.  Sure, we’ve seen some partial freezing, but none solid enough to bear such weight.  I commented on what a cool picture it would be and that was all hubby needed to head back to check it out.

Those who know me would say I’m a big chicken by nature (I prefer “cautious” because it sounds less poultry) so it’s no surprise that I was skeptical about the wisdom of testing the ice.  My skepticism turned to wonder as I noticed the lake wasn’t even all the way frozen.  They seemed so unconcerned with silly things like falling in and getting trapped under the ice.

I might be under the influence of too many made-for-TV movies.

Now if I’d found this lake in Canada, or Minnesota, or some other place with temperatures cold enough to freeze this desert rat to the bone, perhaps I may have ventured out to feel the slickness under my soles.  Then again, it’s likely I would’ve remembered the misery of falling* and still been content observing from shore.

* When my older son was five, we gave in to his begging and took him to a roller skating rink.  All went well until I heard him squeal behind me, so I turned around…just in time to see his legs come out from under him and slide into me, tumbling me like a domino.  For weeks, it hurt to sit and I sported this massive blue/purple/green bruise on my right cheek/hip.  The worst part?  Due to its location I couldn’t even show it off to garner sympathy  😛

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, whether you are normal, insane or anywhere in between!

Treading Water

Circumstance stymies,

icy sheets shift in water.

Energy wasted.

Arizona lake, partially frozen

My day job- the one that pays the bills- has been crazy since the beginning of the year.  I’m now three projects deep with more on the horizon and am beginning to feel the effects of longer hours and less sleep.  It feels like I’m treading water, as I do my best to “get it all done.”  I’m doing, but my “to do” list isn’t shrinking.

For some reason, this made me think of a photo I took a couple months ago of a lake with large sheets of ice in it.  The kids liked to hear the “plink” as they lobbed small rocks onto the thin layer of ice.  They also giggled at the “ker-plop” of rocks that broke through and hit the water.

I stood on shore, mesmerized by the partially frozen water.  The ice sheets didn’t fight for position.  They didn’t shatter under the pesky pelting of pebbles from mischievous children.  No forces worked to break them up or move them out of the way.  They bobbed in the water and were just allowed to “be”.

I decided that I want to be more like a sheet of ice.  No, not frigid and slippery!  Instead of exerting force to control my circumstances, I want to be able to co-exist with them.  Rather than struggle to get everything done, I want to accept that sometimes that’s an impossible idea.  I want to contemplate what I have done more, and focus less on what remains to be accomplished.

I need to take time to just “be.”

Oh, and to write about it, of course 🙂

Thanks so much for visiting and reading.   Have a beautiful day!