Mirrored emotions:
Letting go, pulling away;
We’re both bound to grow.
This will be the first week in a long time that I won’t be linking up to any writing prompt sites. Normally, I like the challenge of channeling my emotions into a prompted response. I decided to go “free” because this week is different. Tomorrow, my baby will be leaving on an 8-day trip to Lake Powell with his Boy Scout troop. Well, he’s not my youngest (he’s my first baby) but still, he hasn’t been away from me for that long before. And I’m a mom: I worry. That is the one thing as a parent I’m certain I do well.
Right now, our emotions are polar opposites. My nervousness at letting him go is equally matched by his excitement to experience freedom outside the constraints of our family. The more I tell him I love him and will miss him, the more he says he can’t wait to go. (I think he will miss me, maybe a little. Then again, my view of reality might be skewed!)
If I didn’t trust the scoutmaster, I couldn’t take this tentative step. He is patient with the children and with this mom who struggles with reigning in her protectiveness. Yes, I will make sure he doesn’t drown in the lake. No, he won’t skip dinner and pig out on snacks. Yes, I will make sure he brushes his teeth. No, you can’t call him because there is little, if any, cell service.
Originally, my husband planned to go and take our younger son. When he lost his job in March, that plan fell through. He has found another job, but hasn’t been there long enough to ask for so much time off. It would cost too much to pay for two more people to go and lose a week’s pay as well. Yep, my older son got lucky 🙂
As I’m writing this, my sons are fighting… shouting, really, as they fold laundry. Perhaps this week-long trip won’t be so bad…
JannaTWrites 
Never stop growing. This was lovely.
Thanks, Lance!
I remember the nervousness of the first camping trip for our oldest. Then my hubby started going on the trips, and then he became Cub Master and then Scout Master so my worries lessened…and then the second son was old enough to join in. And yes, I did my share of camping with them! Sometimes I really miss those scouting days. This weekend we got a dose of the old times. Our youngest is getting ready to move across the country, so he gathered a bunch of friends and our family took them for a camping trip on our riverside property, It was a blast. I love taking people who’ve never been in the mountains before. It’s such a joy to see their awe of the beauty….sorry, I got a bit off topic here! (I guess my point is that years from now the camping and outdoor joys can still be shared as a family…boys don’t outgrow the love of nature!)
It would be easier if my husband went with them… he’d never be Scout Master, though! I imagine it would be hard to let your youngest move so far away. I’m glad you had the opportunity to get together with friends and family- sounds like a great time, Suzicate!
I loved the Ying and Yang you’ve created here Janna.
Well, if I’m here posting my comment, you should know by now I can’t resist responding with a Haiku of my own. Perhaps one day I’ll write an anthology with about 350 of them, just as I’m doing now with my anthology of Flash Fiction.
So here’s my HAIKU response to your theme of LIFE
A loud cry, life’s born
It ages and recreates
Then whimpers away
Thanks for stopping by, Robin! Your haiku is a bit sad with that last line, but it does sum up life (it’s inevitably followed by death.)
Beautiful haiku and sentiments, Janna.
Son races away
eager to test his freedom
Then shares tales with mom!
Your haiku made me smile, Nancy! I do hope he has stories to share, instead of the usual, “yeah, it was fun.”
Powerful and inspiring. I like the spirit of your young son to test his wings. Best wishes always 🙂
Thanks, Dilip! He is testing my patience along with his wings, but I expect we’ll pull through 🙂
…the balancing act of a mother.
I saw a post in Humans of New York about a father who laments that he could no longer make an impromptu visit in his children’s room because the latter are not little children children anymore. One young man, a teenager, made a comment essentially saying that “they do not love their parents any less, they are just very excited about independence.”
I hope you’ll have a lovely ‘vacation’ too. Your son will be back in no time with lots of tales and appreciation for the mother who lets him try his wings occasionally. 🙂
I’ve noticed my older son seeking more privacy in his room (I avoid it anyway because of the mess!) I do hope to hear stories of his trip. Thanks for stopping by, Imelda 🙂
Janna, while my son wasn’t a Scout (nor was he into camping outdoors), I do recall how hard it was to let him test his independence a bit. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals, more’s the pity. But deep down, we remember how excited we felt at getting away from mom’s hovering (even for just a few hours), and we know innately that our kids are bound to feel the same way.
It seems to me that this is a supervised trip. Will he ‘forget’ to brush his teeth? Will he snack on all the stuff that’s banned at home? Probably, but it won’t kill him in a week! And perhaps he’ll gain a new appreciation for the good things he has at home — and the confident mom who’s enabled him to spread his wings in a secure environment. Oh, and congrats to hubby on the new job — that’s got to be a relief!!
An instruction manual would be great, Debbie! When you put it like that, there’s really not much that could happen that couldn’t be remedied when he got home. Yes, I’m glad he has a job. The pay is less, but at least it’s something and he enjoys it, for the most part.
I’m so glad hubby has another job, Janna. Well done indeed 😀
I remember when my first went away for a week – I was so worried! But he had a ball 😉
I bet he will have fun, and even if he misses me, he won’t admit it. We are relieved to have the income, but it will be a bit before we’re caught up on finances. Glad you stopped by, Dianne!
Beautiful Haiku and marvelous comment on it. It is hard when the family stretches, but in the end it is the right thing.
Thanks, Allen! I imagine he will seem even more grown up when he gets back… he tends to do that these days.
You are both going to grow during this adventure. You might not recognize yourselves afterward! Hang in there.
Uh-oh- I hope this doesn’t mean he will be taller and I’ll have more gray hair! Thanks for visiting, Patti 🙂
I’m always here for you, Janna!
Haha, thanks!
” I worry. That is the one thing as a parent I’m certain I do well.”
Don’t we all, Janna. We cleared that hump – especially after years of seeing our children fly off to faraway destinations on their own. It’s still not easy but perhaps, Lisa and I as parents have grown up too.
Your haiku – so apt!
All good wishes,
Eric
Yeah, I mess a bunch of other things up, but worry I’ve got down pat 🙂 I’m sure you and your wife have grown through the parenting process as well. I’m glad you enjoyed the haiku. I appreciate you reading, Eric!
It’s about 30 years since my son went off for the first time, on a camping trip with the church youth group. I worries the whole time, and he had an absolute ball. 🙂
I’m glad he had fun…and that I’m not the only one who worries! Glad you stopped by, AD2P!
It is interesting to see how others react. I taught my kids how to do things and practically kicked them out of the nest. I didn’t have empty nest syndrome until my youngest (10 years younger than his oldest sister) moved out. Now he’s back and I have to fight not to treat him like a child (he’s 27) and it is hard because we live with my dad and I fight not to revert to being a child again. I notice my son tends to tell me when he is going out which he never did when he first turned 18 and lived with me. We now have 3 generations living in this house. Now my sister is very over-protective.
I think it’s great you have three generations in the same house. I think with the way the economy is, that might become more common. (Financially, it makes sense.) Thanks for reading and sharing your experience, Tessa!
Janna it is definitely for financial reasons. My son was living in a motel, had an overdue failed inspection and I worried constantly since his motel rent took all his pay. He even had problems with food. Now I don’t have to worry about him. He helps out dad (his house) and he is helping me with getting more out of my life and not staying in bed all day and night. It helps all of us and my dad isn’t alone after losing my mom. We also have a cat (mine) and a dog who is my father’s new love. They are inseparable. I have been here since 2004. I can’t afford to live on my own either so this works for all 3 of us.
I thing multi-generational living will be more common with how the economy has changed. As long as everyone can navigate the changing boundaries I think it makes sense. I’m glad it’s working for you guys, Tessa!
🙂