Deep As You Go (100 Word Song)

The convenience store sat in the middle of nowhere, halfway between my past and future.

“I need cigarettes,” you’d said.

I asked for Cheetos; the puffy kind, not the crunchy ones.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

The car idled. I felt like I’d drown under the July Arizona sun.

You slid into the seat, shifted the Honda in gear, and tossed snacks and cigarettes at me.  Sweat rolled down your sideburns.

“Everything okay, Daddy?”

You checked the rearview mirror but didn’t answer.

Your jawline tensed. Engine revved, dashed white lines blurred.  I knew.

I’d follow deep as you go.


Robot-BadgeThis is my response to Lance’s 100 Word Song.  It’s pretty much what it sounds like:  he provides a song and we write a story in exactly 100 words inspired by that song.  This week, the song is Deep As You Go by October Project.  (Don’t ask me how I got a father-daughter robbery getaway from that song!)

If it sounds like fun, I hope you’ll consider joining in – click the robot image at left to see Lance’s site and his take on the 100 word song.

Have a great Wednesday, all!

36 thoughts on “Deep As You Go (100 Word Song)

  1. Lala Rukh April 23, 2014 / 6:08 AM

    Love your story Janna, Impressive as always !

    • jannatwrites April 23, 2014 / 7:08 AM

      Thanks for reading, Lala! I hope you’ll submit a story this week… it’s been a while since you’ve linked up 🙂

  2. nrhatch April 23, 2014 / 6:57 AM

    What a terrible father . . . buying her junk food and cigarettes and leaving her idling in the getaway car. 😎

    • jannatwrites April 23, 2014 / 7:17 AM

      Well, it’s even worse because he “paid” for everything with the five-finger discount. The cigs are his, but he couldn’t hold them and outrun the law at the same time 🙂 (She’s underage, though I left her age open to interpretation…. with the use of “Daddy”, I was thinking twelve or under…) Thanks for reading, Nancy! (Glad my dad always paid for stuff with money, but I do remember wishing he could drive a little faster.)

  3. Debbie April 23, 2014 / 8:45 AM

    Yikes, what an awful example this father is showing his daughter! Thievery?? Nothing like making memories that last a lifetime, huh?!

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:11 AM

      Haha, yeah, he’s not showing her the right way. But maybe by living this way, she’ll steer in that direction? Thanks for reading, Debbie!

  4. diannegray April 23, 2014 / 2:37 PM

    This is great, Janna. I could see an entire movie out of this 100 words! 🙂

  5. philosophermouseofthehedge April 23, 2014 / 2:49 PM

    Great opening line.
    Always crunchy! All the little detail you use make thing seem so real.
    Running on empty, are they? (You could run a contest for what background music/songs go with your writings)

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:14 AM

      I’d hoped this would come across as real (not easy with 100 words… I had to cut quite a bit off this one.) I like Lance’s music challenges because most of the time, it involves songs I’m not familiar with. Broadens my horizons, in a way. Thanks for stopping by, Phil!

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:18 AM

      Thanks, Susan! Glad it captured your interest.

  6. Eric Alagan April 23, 2014 / 4:56 PM

    Yup, we gotto learn them youngens while they’re still young!

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:19 AM

      She’s still too young to drive, but give her time 🙂 Thanks for reading, Eric!

  7. Carol Ann Hoel April 23, 2014 / 6:36 PM

    Music please. La la la Deep as you go, Dad… Cool! Blessings to you, Janna…

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:19 AM

      I’m glad you stopped by to read it, Carol Ann!

  8. agjorgenson April 23, 2014 / 6:59 PM

    Thanks for this! Did you have a hard time stopping at 100 words? It seems that this story is just getting revved up!

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:21 AM

      It actually did take some work to get it down to 100 words, Allen. At 101, I thought I might have to scrap the idea and try again, but I finally got it to work. There’s probably more story to tell here… maybe someday I can get around to telling it 🙂

  9. C.C. April 23, 2014 / 10:52 PM

    Well, that would be quite the childhood! I love the unique way you responded to the prompt. Great imagination.

    • jannatwrites April 24, 2014 / 12:23 AM

      Thanks, C.C. The song was obviously about romantic love, so I did want to focus on a different type of love. Glad you stopped by to read it!

  10. ly April 24, 2014 / 5:03 AM

    What an interesting idea! Writers always need some push to get the creative juices going.

    • jannatwrites April 25, 2014 / 8:41 AM

      A prompt does help, doesn’t it, Ly? 🙂

  11. Sean April 24, 2014 / 6:21 AM

    It was funny as I was reading it, it brought back the times when my parents would go into the store for a minute and leave us kids in the car. That may explain some things lol. I do agree with others that this was too short but limitations are a struggle at times. You have a knack for bringing the visualization to our mind. thanks

    • jannatwrites April 25, 2014 / 8:42 AM

      Well, if they ran to the car and peeled out onto the interstate, I think it does explain a lot, Sean 🙂 Oh, I definitely could’ve expanded this (and trimming to exactly 100 was a challenge!) Thanks for reading. Hope you have a nice weekend!

  12. Quickstepp April 24, 2014 / 10:52 AM

    You do these fringe character so well. When Janna T gonna write book?

    • jannatwrites April 25, 2014 / 8:43 AM

      Thanks, Mel! A book… well, uh, I have one done (that needs a complete run through) and I’m working on the one that I did the nine month serial on Trifecta… at the rate I’m going, maybe by 2025 🙂

      • Quickstepp April 26, 2014 / 6:22 AM

        I think Darlene def deserves a novel. 🙂 grind it out lady!!

        • jannatwrites April 28, 2014 / 9:34 PM

          Thanks for the encouragement 🙂

  13. Tara R. April 24, 2014 / 5:46 PM

    I liked your treatment of the prompt, and the way you wove snippets of lyrics into the story. It worked wonderfully.

    • jannatwrites April 25, 2014 / 8:47 AM

      Thanks, Tara! I appreciate you taking time to read it.

  14. pattisj April 25, 2014 / 11:27 PM

    Not familiar with the song, but that’s a cool concept, and I like your story.

    • jannatwrites April 27, 2014 / 9:54 PM

      Thanks, Patti. I’m glad you stopped by to read it 🙂

  15. Christine April 28, 2014 / 3:38 PM

    I love where you went with this! Brilliant! I would not have gotten father-daughter out of the song, either, which makes it that much more interesting.

    • jannatwrites April 28, 2014 / 9:34 PM

      Thanks, Christine! The father/daughter was a stretch, but I didn’t want to go the obvious route 🙂

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