Sometimes There’s More To A Story

I got a kick out of reading comments on the last story I posted.  I love that people aren’t afraid to say “I didn’t like that!”  I have to agree that the two main characters weren’t that likeable.  As I thought of the story throughout the day, it occurred to me that the ending left the one sympathetic character (Robert) hanging.  Today, I sat down and wrote another segment, which I think ends this story on a much happier note, and closes the loop I’d left.

Here is the final piece of Rise and Fall  I will also update my last post to include this segment.  The entire story comes in at 749 words – just under the Speakeasy prompt 750-word limit.

**********

Robert rested his elbows on the bridge railing.  His gaze fell on the rippling reflection of lights below.  The River Thames had been Audrey’s fixation, but in the two years he visited alone, he found it ran through his heart as well.

On the third anniversary of Audrey’s leap, Robert brought his new bride to Westminster Bridge, so she too, might be touched by the river.

“You okay?” Catherine asked as she rubbed her husband’s back.

He straightened and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.  “Couldn’t be better.”  He kissed her forehead.

For several minutes, they embraced.

“Robert, I don’t want to lose you.”

He turned her to face him.  “What do you mean?”  He tried to keep the alarm from his voice.

“When we married eight months ago, you made it clear you didn’t want kids.  I’m pregnant.”  She covered her face with her hands and wept.

“W-what?  I don’t… I can’t believe… I love you!”  He wrapped his arms around his wife.  “I love you.”

Through tears that threatened to overflow his eyelids, he felt the blessing of the Thames.

The river that once carried his sorrow now shared his joy.

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28 thoughts on “Sometimes There’s More To A Story

  1. Kathy Combs (@Kathy29156) December 29, 2013 / 11:17 PM

    That is sweet that happiness could be found and renewed in such a way where such a tragedy occurred before. Well done! ♥

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 10:55 PM

      Thanks so much for reading this story, Kathy 🙂

  2. vishalbheeroo December 29, 2013 / 11:18 PM

    Well, I like the second part. I’m yet to read the first one, though. Happy New Year:)

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 10:56 PM

      Thanks for reading this part, Vishal. I wish you a happy new year, too 🙂

  3. J. Milburn December 29, 2013 / 11:29 PM

    I’m glad Robert got his happy ending! He seems like a stand-up guy. I like how he carries on the tradition of visiting the Thames, but doesn’t let it consume him like Audrey did. Great follow-on!

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:00 PM

      Thanks for your comment, J. I think he is a good guy who didn’t find the right person right away.

  4. Diane Turner December 30, 2013 / 1:47 AM

    What a nice ending for Robert, and using the Thames as the vehicle for joy and pain is clever. Thanks for sharing.

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:01 PM

      I’m glad you stopped by to read the story, Diane. I hope you have a happy new year 🙂

  5. Michael December 30, 2013 / 4:46 AM

    Kinda gives new meaning to that old song “Like a Bridge over Troubled Waters….” 🙂

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:02 PM

      Awesome comment, Michael! Your cleverness made me chuckle…quite a feat on Monday 🙂

  6. nrhatch December 30, 2013 / 8:05 AM

    Go Robert! Yesterday, when Audrey took the plunge, I thought, “He’s be better off without her.” Today, you proved me right. WRITE ON! :mrgreen:

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:04 PM

      Sometimes life stinks, but I still like to think happy endings do happen, Nancy.

  7. Debbie December 30, 2013 / 9:13 AM

    MUCH Better, Janna! Poor Robert deserved his “happy-ever-after” ending, and everything points to a positive outcome for him. Obviously, when we writers come up with a storyline, not every character gets to live to the last page. I’m okay with that. But the optimist in me hopes for a “full circle” ending, and you’ve obliged — thanks!

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:13 PM

      I like a hopeful ending, too, Debbie. If someone had to die, I’m glad it was Jonathan and Audrey 🙂

  8. Joe Owens December 30, 2013 / 9:30 AM

    I agree with you Janna, having comments that delve into the mechanics of the story is nice because it shows people read and have a feeling they want to share. AS writers that is what we most crave, to connect with our audience.

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:14 PM

      It can be hard to leave a critique, but it really does help for technique. Thanks for stopping by, Joe.

  9. Widdershins December 30, 2013 / 1:03 PM

    I’m glad Robert got his HEA (Happily Ever After), but I wonder if the story, which is a powerful piece of writing and complete within itself, needed it.

    • jannatwrites December 30, 2013 / 11:19 PM

      The story works either way, I think… it’s just a matter of whether you prefer a happy ending or one that’s more tragic. Thanks for weighing in, Widdershins!

  10. philosophermouseofthehedge December 31, 2013 / 9:33 AM

    Writers used to go with the strongest ending – one that stuck with the reader.
    Toss up which is best – depending on your mood – but last lines now seems a bit rushed – not as finely welded with the previous passages.
    Sweet, but not as haunting and touching the quirks of the human mind.
    ANYWAY. always a great read here – thanks
    Hope your new year is bright, wonderful and full of joy

    • jannatwrites January 1, 2014 / 12:12 AM

      Thanks for your feedback, Phil! I was running up against the word count, so maybe subconsciously, that affected the pace in the final segment. I do appreciate you reading. Have a happy new year 🙂

  11. Sandra December 31, 2013 / 1:11 PM

    Ha, now I see what you’ve done! If you had left the ending as is, the story still would have worked as a dark look on tragic love. People can take from it however they like. This new ending gives it completely different feel. I love how you can change things up with one easy segment, Janna.

    • jannatwrites January 1, 2014 / 12:15 AM

      Yeah, I sneaked the last segment in a day after posting. I guess I was in a better mood? 🙂 I normally don’t like sad, hopeless endings when I read a story, so I don’t write them that way very often, either. On the other hand, if things are too perfect, it doesn’t feel real to me. Anyway, thanks for reading, Sandra!

  12. agjorgenson January 4, 2014 / 2:58 PM

    Well, that certainly is cheerier, but do you like it better? Haunting endings tend to be more memorable, but leave the reader feeling a bit off kilter. I guess the author always has to return to the question: what do i want this piece to do?

    • jannatwrites January 5, 2014 / 9:17 AM

      Yes, I did like the story better with the last part (then again, I generally gravitate towards hope!) The two endings do give the story a different feel, and I guess some days, I might prefer the tragedy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Allen!

  13. pattisj January 11, 2014 / 10:43 PM

    I love this ending.

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