Anniversary

When we uttered

The words,

“I do,”

We hoped for a

Trunk

Strong enough

To support

A lifetime of

Together.

This commitment

Offered when we were

Young;

When we could

Barely comprehend

The weight of

Forever.

04-12 Tree

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

My husband and I have been married for sixteen years now.  In some ways, it doesn’t seem like it could be that long already.  Yet other times, it feels like one hundred and sixteen years 🙂  The easiest years of marriage were the beginning.  Marriage was new and shiny, no kids; everything seemed easy. 

Then we had children, one son and then another.  Sleep deprived and overwhelmed, the small annoyances gathered.  Empty toilet paper rolls, soap slivers in the shower, hogged TV remotes, half-full coffee cups left on the table (without a coaster) – all of the little things threatened to trigger war. 

When two lives merge into one and then become a family of four, there is adjustment.  The illusion of easy is long gone.  Sixteen years wiser, I realize that time may will bring more difficulties.  May God bless us with balance:  the ability to weather the elements (all of the things that need our attention) while taking care to avoid the rot of neglect. 

Oh, and I pray for restraint when I find cups sitting next to a coaster on our wooden dining room table.  This is one annoyance I can’t seem to work through, and all the ‘men’ of the house do this.

Have a beautiful weekend!

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45 thoughts on “Anniversary

  1. Nandini Godara April 12, 2013 / 9:59 AM

    Congratulations! 16 years wow! House full of boys huh, good luck to you! 😀

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:01 PM

      Thanks, Nandini! Sometimes the testosterone is too much and I have to find a quiet place 🙂

  2. SuziCate April 12, 2013 / 10:05 AM

    Happy anniversary! A household of men can pose a few challenges at times!

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:01 PM

      Thanks, SuziCate! You have 2 boys, don’t you? I think you know a bit about that!

  3. coyotero2112 April 12, 2013 / 10:27 AM

    Hard ot imagine. I’ve never done anything for sixteen years. I don’t think I’ve lived in one place for more than five years. My keep marriage good thought is always remembering to be kind instead of right..or what I think is right. …says the guy whose first marriage lasted less than a year and will be married a year in June this time. An expert, I am…not. Happy, happy, happy…
    Later…

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:03 PM

      I hope you second marriage lasts, Coyotero! I like the ‘be kind’ idea – thoughtfulness helps alleviate a lot of problems. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Lance April 12, 2013 / 10:30 AM

    Happy Sixteen Candles you crazy kids. I hope you find time to appreciate each other.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:04 PM

      I have to say that sixteen years of marriage is much better than my sixteenth birthday, Lance 🙂

  5. rebecca2000 April 12, 2013 / 10:43 AM

    I love this so much. Congratulations on building a strong trunk. I will be 15 years on Monday.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:05 PM

      I’m glad you like this post, Rebecca. Congrats on your upcoming anniversary! For some reason, I thought you were much younger than me, so I was surprised you’ve been married that long 🙂

      • rebecca2000 April 13, 2013 / 9:25 PM

        Aww thanks. I will be 35 in August. 🙂

        • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:33 PM

          Still younger than me, Becca! (I’ll be thirty-nine…and holding in July. I’m in denial :))

        • rebecca2000 April 13, 2013 / 9:37 PM

          3 years and 11 months, not a huge difference.

  6. nrhatch April 12, 2013 / 11:03 AM

    Happy SIXTEEN!

    Marriage is easier early on and later on . . . in the middle years, when we’re stretched for time with jobs, kids, and other competing demands, it’s more challenging.

    Trees measure their age in rings.
    Couples measure their age in rings left by cups without coasters. 😉

    • nrhatch April 12, 2013 / 11:04 AM

      And I LOVE your poem.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:09 PM

      I had hoped that marriage gets easier later on…of course, I can’t write on that yet because we’re in the thick of the ‘middle’ years 🙂

      I love your comment about how couples measure their age…so perfect for my house, Nancy!!

  7. newwhitebear April 12, 2013 / 11:05 AM

    Happy anniversary! Many happy returns of this day!

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:10 PM

      Thanks so much, Newwhitebear. I also hope to have many more anniversaries 🙂

  8. Debbie April 12, 2013 / 11:17 AM

    Happy anniversary, my friend! Wow, sixteen years — quite an accomplishment in these times! Here’s hoping for many more happy years together!

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:11 PM

      I only have one problem with having my sixteenth wedding anniversary: it’s getting harder to deny I’m getting old 🙂 Thanks for your comment, Debbie!

  9. Widdershins April 12, 2013 / 12:36 PM

    Happy Anniversary … coffee cups without coasters? Move the coffee table to the other side of the room!

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:15 PM

      Thanks, Widdershins! I’ve found his coffee cups in the laundry room, on top of the car, in the bathroom (??) – I’ve banned him from taking coffee in my car because he often spills it (even with the mugs with a lid.) I’ll let this go now so I don’t get all worked up over it again 😆

  10. Sean April 12, 2013 / 1:06 PM

    You aren’t old enough to be married that long. Congrats. Sometimes it is a challenge with everything but it’s the other times which makes up for the rest. 1 Corinthians 13 is how we should try to be in a relationship although I fail miserably at it at times. Like my bosses boss says, always try to put more in than you take out. This should be both sides but we are not to worry about what the other does, but what we do. Take care and have a wonderful anniversary.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:17 PM

      Haha…we both know that isn’t true, Sean – I’m plenty old enough! Good advice to put in more than you take out. Any relationship thrives better that way, but it is so important in the closer relationships where the amount of time spent together increases the chances of irritation. I’m glad you stopped by to share your comment.

  11. chlost April 12, 2013 / 2:00 PM

    Congratulations to you and Happy Anniversary! It’s always going to be challenging at times, but the challenges change over the years. It’s worth it. Hope you celebrate with something fun to do.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:18 PM

      Thanks, Chlost! I was able to spend less on groceries, so we went out to eat. We haven’t gone out to eat in a long time, so it was a treat!

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:18 PM

      I’m glad you liked the poem, Phil – thanks!

  12. Eric Alagan April 12, 2013 / 6:00 PM

    Congratulations Janna – 16 years 🙂

    Yes, it is the little annoying traits that bog us down. It always surprises me that our loved ones can be a little inconsiderate.

    I recall, once Lisa mentioned that she does not like it when I left the washbasin wet. That was about 20 years ago. I’ve wiped dry the washbasin since. I figured, if it upset her enough to voice it – hey, don’t I love her? Sure I do and I’ll show it.

    Wishing you many more happy years ahead,
    Eric

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:25 PM

      Wow, that’s impressive, Eric! I remember fairly early on in our marriage, I asked my husband several times to throw away the slivers of soap instead of dropping them on the shower stall floor. (They get slippery and were hard to clean up.) Well, he kept doing it and I got angrier and angrier. That’s when I decided I’d take baths instead of showers so the shower stall was all his (including cleaning!)

      • Eric Alagan April 13, 2013 / 9:42 PM

        Oh dear,

        I know a little of how you must feel.

        When Lisa tells me something – I change immediately and I mean – immediately. Not with her little annoys – I need to voice out a few times before she accedes – but the good news is, she does – little things like turning off the heater switch. No real dramas but tiny irritants.

        Oh, well 🙂

        Cheers, Eric
        P/s Fortunately, our 3 adult children are like me – it is a dream to have them around.

        • jannatwrites April 14, 2013 / 10:54 PM

          I’m glad she does finally address the things that annoy you. The annoyances do seem bigger when, after brought to someone’s attention, nothing is done to curb them. Definitely something to be mindful of when we’re in relationships!

  13. Diane Turner April 12, 2013 / 10:22 PM

    Exquisite poem. Your cups-sans-coaster aggravation is my (husband’s) underwear-on-the- floor-next-to-the-hamper gripe. Granted, underwear doesn’t leave a ring (at least I hope not – ewww!), but grrrr….
    Thanks for sharing and happy anniversary and here’s to 50 more.

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:28 PM

      Hahaha! Great comment, Diane. I sure hope the undies don’t have rings…better put on gloves before touching those! Thank goodness my husband can find the hamper…score 1 point for him 🙂

  14. agjorgenson April 13, 2013 / 6:24 PM

    Blessings as you continue in the adventure.

  15. Imelda April 13, 2013 / 7:57 PM

    Happy Anniversary, Janna and husband. May you be blessed with many more years together, patience and love for each other. Your poem is lovely and so true. Your account on marriage is, as well. It is a constant work and act of kindness (which is difficult to accomplish when you see all the things irritating you). 🙂

    • jannatwrites April 13, 2013 / 9:31 PM

      Patience is the key, Imelda. That is one lesson that I can’t seem to learn. Sometimes I have to force myself to think of the positive so I can get out the negative loop. So far, it’s working 🙂

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