“Darlene, the police were just here.”

“What did they want?”

“They grilled me about Scott.  Was he in some kind trouble?”

“I really don’t know.  But I think I’m about to find out.”


TrifectaPicture11-1This is my response to the Trifecta weekend challenge, which was to write exactly 33 words of dialogue.  I didn’t know if this counted dialogue tags, so I left them out.  This is a phone conversation between Darlene a friend.  I think it still makes sense…but you’ll let me know if it doesn’t, right? 🙂

This is a continuation of my last post, Dead Flowers.  I doubt this will satisfy many of the questions left by that post, and may even add a few more!

If you want to submit an entry yourself, or check out the other great entries, click on the tricycle picture to view Trifecta’s site.  Have a wonderful weekend!

82 thoughts on “Investigation

  1. atrm61 February 1, 2013 / 7:45 AM

    Great idea to take your last story(thread?) further through this crisp dialogue Janna:-)Well done & am waiting for the next twist in the story now;-)

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:20 PM

      Thanks, Atreyee! I didn’t intend to continue it on a weekend challenge, but when the conversation came to my head and was thirty-five words, I decided to trim it and go with it 🙂

      • atrm61 February 2, 2013 / 1:36 AM

        It looks perfect-so glad you went with it:-)Am still struggling to find inspiration-been busy catching up with last week’s 74 posts & this weekend’s 35-finally,am catching up with the comments on my own-after that I will sit down & hopefully submit something by tonight:-)

        • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 11:56 PM

          Good luck with the inspiration, Atreyee. I admire your commitment to read all the entries. I finally abandoned my hope to finish reading the weekday challenge entries.

        • atrm61 February 3, 2013 / 12:07 AM

          :-)Thank you for the wishes & compliment Janna-just wrote my piece but will submit it after lunch-am getting late-kitchen awaits,lol!Its possible for me to read all cos am a stay at home Mom & there are enough days-also am not writing anything else,unlike you all talented writers-I need to learn so much:-)333 word entries are tougher & I can see the number of writers are increasing day by day.

        • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 10:35 PM

          Yours was a fun one this week, Atreyee – liked the “real” meanings behind the banter in parenthesis 🙂

        • atrm61 February 4, 2013 / 12:16 AM

          Yes,I just read & responded to your cute comment &^ laughed-thank you so much Janna:-)

  2. coyotero2112 February 1, 2013 / 8:01 AM

    You could stick with 33 words for a while and be totally entertaining, but don’t do it. You have so much to put into words. Keep it up, I’ll keep showing up.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:20 PM

      I thank you for continuing to read and offer words of encouragement, Coyotero!

  3. Draug419 February 1, 2013 / 8:09 AM

    Oh dear, this doesn’t look good! Awesome continuation (:

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:29 PM

      I’m glad you liked the continuation, Draug. It doesn’t look good for Scott at all!

  4. newwhitebear February 1, 2013 / 8:59 AM

    Do you come nothing to know about him?

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:34 PM

      I hope to fill in some of the blanks next time, Newwhitebear 🙂

  5. Debbie February 1, 2013 / 9:32 AM

    Fascinating how just 33 words can say so much! Well done, Janna!

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:34 PM

      This one was weird, Debbie – it just came to me and I only had to cut 2 words. Thanks for taking time to read and share your reaction!

  6. Tina February 1, 2013 / 10:18 AM

    Well! This Scott has some ‘splaining to do! Great job of sparking tension with this possible conflict.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:37 PM

      Thanks for your supportive comment, Tina. (The “splaining” made me think of Desi Arnaz 🙂

  7. Sean February 1, 2013 / 10:36 AM

    This is just wrong 😛 There is a new character in this and not enough words for explanation. Not that you had a choice in that. Questions that keep going through the mind. Does she live at home, is she just a teen, could it be a roommate whom she lives with, maybe even a grandparent that took her in or that she cares for, could it all just be a dream. Could it be that Darlene and Scott were having an affair and he is the best friend to her husband. I guess we will just have to wait and see where your mind decides to go.

    • Sean February 1, 2013 / 1:58 PM

      See, if I read the rest, I would have known that it was a friend. DOH!!!!

      • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:49 PM

        Sean- in your defense, I did add a couple sentences after posting…it’s likely you read it before I changed it.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:38 PM

      You’ve posed some very good questions, Sean…but I can’t confirm or deny the possibility of any of them! The story will come out (slowly at 33 to 333 words, I guess :)) Thanks for stopping by to read this part.

  8. lumdog February 1, 2013 / 10:47 AM

    Ok, you hit us with a great grabber. Nice one.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:39 PM

      Thanks, Lumdog. 33-words seems so small sometimes.

  9. Imelda February 1, 2013 / 11:47 AM

    Another series…. The suspense is gripping, Janna. 🙂

  10. Jennifer February 1, 2013 / 12:33 PM

    I would say that grilling equals trouble.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:46 PM

      It’s usually not a good sign, is it? I hope the next prompt cooperates with the story so I can clear up some questions!

  11. christina (@finallyMom) February 1, 2013 / 1:13 PM

    i’m not familiar with the characters but it makes sense to me and it has me intrigued to finding out more!

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:48 PM

      I’m glad it made sense, Christina. The characters were just introduced in the last challenge, but I’d hoped this could stand alone.

  12. diannegray February 1, 2013 / 2:27 PM

    It totally makes sense to me and I want to know what Scott’s been up to! 😉

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:50 PM

      So happy it’s kept you interested, Dianne. I appreciate you following the story!

  13. muZer February 1, 2013 / 3:03 PM

    Uh oh! Now let’s hear Scott’s side of the story.. 🙂 Nicely done.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:57 PM

      I think we’ll be finding more out about him, Muzer!

  14. Libby February 1, 2013 / 3:41 PM

    Run, Scott!!! Oh, sorry, my co-dependent side reared its ugly head(!) These 33 words make me want to read the rest of the story 🙂

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:58 PM

      Hahaha…co-dependant issues 🙂 Thanks for reading, Libby!

  15. rangewriter February 1, 2013 / 4:31 PM

    Quotation marks, yeah, I wonder. Do they count? Well, anyway. I like it.

    • jannatwrites February 1, 2013 / 11:59 PM

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, Rangewriter…appreciate you reading it!

  16. deanabo February 1, 2013 / 4:57 PM

    Somebody’s in alot of trouble!!

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 12:00 AM

      Certainly looks that way, doesn’t it, Deanabo?

  17. Widdershins February 1, 2013 / 5:00 PM

    What a great idea to continue the story via the challenge … keep ’em coming!

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 12:00 AM

      Thanks for the encouragement, Widdershins! Prompts willing, I’ll continue 🙂

  18. Tom MacInnes (@cobourgcobbie) February 1, 2013 / 7:12 PM

    A very well-structured, tight, taut 33-word bit of slap-dash showmanship. Thanks for setting such a fine example for us all.

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 12:08 AM

      Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement! (I’ve read some excellent dialogue so far in the first thirty entries!)

  19. pattyabr February 1, 2013 / 8:42 PM

    short and sweet and to the point – unfortunately I have been a bystander of a scenario similar to that conversation.

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 12:08 AM

      Oh wow, that’s interesting, Patty!

  20. tedstrutz February 1, 2013 / 9:21 PM

    When I read this, I thought Scott was Darlene’s kid… now that I have read “Dead Flowers” I know different.

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 12:09 AM

      Sorry, that wasn’t really clear in this one (it was actually open to interpretation in Dead Flowers as well.) Thanks for sharing your comment, Tedsrutz!

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 11:57 PM

      Thanks for visiting and sharing your reaction, Amy. I appreciate it 🙂

  21. Eric Alagan February 2, 2013 / 5:28 AM

    This makes complete sense Jana. And you are right – we want to know more. Cheers, Eric

  22. braintomahawk February 2, 2013 / 6:53 AM

    Oh we love being teased and led along bit by bit. I ‘torment’ my ZB fans the same way 😉

    Well done!

    • jannatwrites February 2, 2013 / 11:58 PM

      Oh yes, you have the tormenting thing down well, BT 🙂

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 12:00 AM

      Wow, thanks, Nancy! I can’t believe I made the finals. How exciting 🙂

  23. Corinne February 2, 2013 / 10:44 AM

    I’m going to have to go back and refresh my memory of your story! This is great conversation – very short and to the point but leaves a TON of questions!

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 12:01 AM

      Luckily, I’ve only done one other post for this story, so there’s not much to read…and there aren’t many answers yet, either! Thanks for reading, Corinne 🙂

  24. Michael February 2, 2013 / 5:33 PM

    Bad Scott, Bad Scott, what’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do when they come for you….:P

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 12:02 AM

      Noooooooooo… I have that song in my head!

      Thanks for stopping by, Michael 🙂

  25. oscarjamieson February 3, 2013 / 12:59 AM

    Fantastic use of the 33 words! It could be the sad resignation of a mother, or concerned and troubled roommates. Not having read your previous works I don’t know, but it’s a great piece regardless!

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 10:36 PM

      Thanks for stopping by to read it, Oscar! I’ve only written one other part of this one, so it’s all a bit sketchy right now.

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 10:37 PM

      “Police” and “grilling” are never good together unless it’s at a department picnic.

  26. Sandra February 3, 2013 / 2:31 PM

    Yay, another continuation of an exciting story! I’m looking forward to seeing how this story will turn out. I love how you can weave a story from the prompts and do it so well. Waiting for answers and twists…

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 10:59 PM

      I appreciate you reading, Sandra. I never intend to do these continuation stories – they just happen 🙂

  27. Christine February 3, 2013 / 3:02 PM

    Nice! There’s obviously more to this story. Great job with the dialog.

    • jannatwrites February 3, 2013 / 11:01 PM

      That’s a good question, Renee…kind of depends on tomorrow’s prompt, I think!

  28. Linda Vernon February 4, 2013 / 1:17 PM

    Oh this on is really intriguing Janna! (Gosh I almost got a finger charley horse scrolling down!) HA!

    • jannatwrites February 5, 2013 / 8:04 PM

      Haha! Thanks for reading, Linda. It’s becoming an accidental serial story 🙂

      • Linda Vernon February 8, 2013 / 12:30 PM

        That’s what I love about the challenges. You never know where they are going to take you but you can be sure you would have never left in the first place without them. (I’m not sure that makes sense, but it sounds good anyway HA! :D)

        • jannatwrites February 8, 2013 / 11:58 PM

          Actually, that does make sense, Linda (then again, it’s late…and I’m really tired :))

        • Linda Vernon February 9, 2013 / 12:30 PM

          Haha! Well, I don’t even remember what we were talking about and I’ve had a full nights sleep! HA!

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