“Darlene, the police were just here.”
“What did they want?”
“They grilled me about Scott. Was he in some kind trouble?”
“I really don’t know. But I think I’m about to find out.”
~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-
This is my response to the Trifecta weekend challenge, which was to write exactly 33 words of dialogue. I didn’t know if this counted dialogue tags, so I left them out. This is a phone conversation between Darlene a friend. I think it still makes sense…but you’ll let me know if it doesn’t, right? 🙂
This is a continuation of my last post, Dead Flowers. I doubt this will satisfy many of the questions left by that post, and may even add a few more!
If you want to submit an entry yourself, or check out the other great entries, click on the tricycle picture to view Trifecta’s site. Have a wonderful weekend!
Great idea to take your last story(thread?) further through this crisp dialogue Janna:-)Well done & am waiting for the next twist in the story now;-)
Thanks, Atreyee! I didn’t intend to continue it on a weekend challenge, but when the conversation came to my head and was thirty-five words, I decided to trim it and go with it 🙂
It looks perfect-so glad you went with it:-)Am still struggling to find inspiration-been busy catching up with last week’s 74 posts & this weekend’s 35-finally,am catching up with the comments on my own-after that I will sit down & hopefully submit something by tonight:-)
Good luck with the inspiration, Atreyee. I admire your commitment to read all the entries. I finally abandoned my hope to finish reading the weekday challenge entries.
:-)Thank you for the wishes & compliment Janna-just wrote my piece but will submit it after lunch-am getting late-kitchen awaits,lol!Its possible for me to read all cos am a stay at home Mom & there are enough days-also am not writing anything else,unlike you all talented writers-I need to learn so much:-)333 word entries are tougher & I can see the number of writers are increasing day by day.
Yours was a fun one this week, Atreyee – liked the “real” meanings behind the banter in parenthesis 🙂
Yes,I just read & responded to your cute comment &^ laughed-thank you so much Janna:-)
You could stick with 33 words for a while and be totally entertaining, but don’t do it. You have so much to put into words. Keep it up, I’ll keep showing up.
Later…
I thank you for continuing to read and offer words of encouragement, Coyotero!
Oh dear, this doesn’t look good! Awesome continuation (:
I’m glad you liked the continuation, Draug. It doesn’t look good for Scott at all!
Bad News!
That’s the truth, Joetwo!
Do you come nothing to know about him?
I hope to fill in some of the blanks next time, Newwhitebear 🙂
Fascinating how just 33 words can say so much! Well done, Janna!
This one was weird, Debbie – it just came to me and I only had to cut 2 words. Thanks for taking time to read and share your reaction!
Well! This Scott has some ‘splaining to do! Great job of sparking tension with this possible conflict.
Thanks for your supportive comment, Tina. (The “splaining” made me think of Desi Arnaz 🙂
This is just wrong 😛 There is a new character in this and not enough words for explanation. Not that you had a choice in that. Questions that keep going through the mind. Does she live at home, is she just a teen, could it be a roommate whom she lives with, maybe even a grandparent that took her in or that she cares for, could it all just be a dream. Could it be that Darlene and Scott were having an affair and he is the best friend to her husband. I guess we will just have to wait and see where your mind decides to go.
See, if I read the rest, I would have known that it was a friend. DOH!!!!
Sean- in your defense, I did add a couple sentences after posting…it’s likely you read it before I changed it.
You’ve posed some very good questions, Sean…but I can’t confirm or deny the possibility of any of them! The story will come out (slowly at 33 to 333 words, I guess :)) Thanks for stopping by to read this part.
Ok, you hit us with a great grabber. Nice one.
Thanks, Lumdog. 33-words seems so small sometimes.
Another series…. The suspense is gripping, Janna. 🙂
Thanks, Imelda!
I would say that grilling equals trouble.
It’s usually not a good sign, is it? I hope the next prompt cooperates with the story so I can clear up some questions!
And now the worries change. (nicely done!)
Thanks, Phil!
i’m not familiar with the characters but it makes sense to me and it has me intrigued to finding out more!
I’m glad it made sense, Christina. The characters were just introduced in the last challenge, but I’d hoped this could stand alone.
It totally makes sense to me and I want to know what Scott’s been up to! 😉
So happy it’s kept you interested, Dianne. I appreciate you following the story!
Uh oh! Now let’s hear Scott’s side of the story.. 🙂 Nicely done.
I think we’ll be finding more out about him, Muzer!
uh oh, scott is going to jail.
He may, Becca!
Run, Scott!!! Oh, sorry, my co-dependent side reared its ugly head(!) These 33 words make me want to read the rest of the story 🙂
Hahaha…co-dependant issues 🙂 Thanks for reading, Libby!
Quotation marks, yeah, I wonder. Do they count? Well, anyway. I like it.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Rangewriter…appreciate you reading it!
Somebody’s in alot of trouble!!
Certainly looks that way, doesn’t it, Deanabo?
What a great idea to continue the story via the challenge … keep ’em coming!
Thanks for the encouragement, Widdershins! Prompts willing, I’ll continue 🙂
🙂 Well done!
Thanks, Barbara!
A very well-structured, tight, taut 33-word bit of slap-dash showmanship. Thanks for setting such a fine example for us all.
Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement! (I’ve read some excellent dialogue so far in the first thirty entries!)
short and sweet and to the point – unfortunately I have been a bystander of a scenario similar to that conversation.
Oh wow, that’s interesting, Patty!
When I read this, I thought Scott was Darlene’s kid… now that I have read “Dead Flowers” I know different.
Sorry, that wasn’t really clear in this one (it was actually open to interpretation in Dead Flowers as well.) Thanks for sharing your comment, Tedsrutz!
Great post, Janna, and frankly, it could stand on its own as a stark moment in time. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/02/02/about-the-unexpected-little-visitor-dialog/
Thanks for visiting and sharing your reaction, Amy. I appreciate it 🙂
This makes complete sense Jana. And you are right – we want to know more. Cheers, Eric
Thanks, Eric!
Oh we love being teased and led along bit by bit. I ‘torment’ my ZB fans the same way 😉
Well done!
Oh yes, you have the tormenting thing down well, BT 🙂
You always do so well . . . with so few words, Janna.
Congratulations . . . you made the finals in The Writer’s Desk Contest! If you want to invite your friends, fans, and followers to come vote for you, here’s the link:
http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2013/02/02/the-writers-desk-let-the-voting-begin/
Cheers!
Wow, thanks, Nancy! I can’t believe I made the finals. How exciting 🙂
I’m going to have to go back and refresh my memory of your story! This is great conversation – very short and to the point but leaves a TON of questions!
Luckily, I’ve only done one other post for this story, so there’s not much to read…and there aren’t many answers yet, either! Thanks for reading, Corinne 🙂
Bad Scott, Bad Scott, what’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do when they come for you….:P
Noooooooooo…..now I have that song in my head!
Thanks for stopping by, Michael 🙂
Fantastic use of the 33 words! It could be the sad resignation of a mother, or concerned and troubled roommates. Not having read your previous works I don’t know, but it’s a great piece regardless!
Thanks for stopping by to read it, Oscar! I’ve only written one other part of this one, so it’s all a bit sketchy right now.
Uh oh!! Doesn’t sound good!!
“Police” and “grilling” are never good together unless it’s at a department picnic.
Yay, another continuation of an exciting story! I’m looking forward to seeing how this story will turn out. I love how you can weave a story from the prompts and do it so well. Waiting for answers and twists…
I appreciate you reading, Sandra. I never intend to do these continuation stories – they just happen 🙂
Nice! There’s obviously more to this story. Great job with the dialog.
Thanks, Christine!
Nicely done, now, what happens next? 🙂
That’s a good question, Renee…kind of depends on tomorrow’s prompt, I think!
Oh this on is really intriguing Janna! (Gosh I almost got a finger charley horse scrolling down!) HA!
Haha! Thanks for reading, Linda. It’s becoming an accidental serial story 🙂
That’s what I love about the challenges. You never know where they are going to take you but you can be sure you would have never left in the first place without them. (I’m not sure that makes sense, but it sounds good anyway HA! :D)
Actually, that does make sense, Linda (then again, it’s late…and I’m really tired :))
Haha! Well, I don’t even remember what we were talking about and I’ve had a full nights sleep! HA!