Here in these parts, there’s a living legend. If you didn’t live here, you’d think the hype was exaggerated; that he didn’t really exist.
Oh, but he does.
It’s like he’s coated in Teflon and his waste smells like roses. It’s true. He will tell you so, from any camera angle at any press conference he can schedule. Sound bytes feed his hefty appetite. Our sheriff calls himself “America’s Toughest Sheriff.” Did I mention he’s modest?
In the past twenty years (yes, he has been elected five consecutive terms and is bidding for his sixth) he has made the news with pink underwear, green bologna, tent city, and chain gangs. Nationally, he symbolizes the fight against illegal immigration as he conducts controversial crime sweeps in Hispanic neighborhoods (but of course no racial profiling occurs.)
He is a maverick for standing up to the Feds. He’s earned national recognition and tons of campaign funding (nearly 80% from out-of-state). He’s been dogged by years of accusations of abuse of power, reports of not investigating sex abuse cases, millions of dollars have been spent on defense and lawsuit payouts, and another $100 million dollars is unaccounted for.
But this elected official is a man of integrity, he says. He’s done nothing illegal. He didn’t know about mishandling of funds and denies misconduct. Instead, he threw his right-hand-men under the bus. (Oh, this sheriff is a slippery one; he knows how to operate without a trail.)
And, since he has time to spare after enforcing county laws, he’s taken to investigating Obama’s birth certificate. He believes it’s a fraud, and of course, it is a county sheriff’s job to unravel this mystery.
Some call him a media whore with the best allies money can buy; others dub him a master at using the tools at his disposal. Whatever you call him, Joe will be sheriff for another four years if we don’t get wise and make our voices heard.
Sorry about the political piece, but Trifecta asked for it 🙂 Well, they didn’t specifically instruct me to write a political rant, but with the weekly challenge word, I couldn’t think of a better use! The claims here were taken from local newscasts, online articles and Wikipedia (I linked to several articles in my entry).
The Trifecta challenge this week is to write a 33 to 333 word response using the following word and definition:
Whore: a venal or unscrupulous person.
This ends the political intrusion into my normally peaceful blog 🙂