First Kiss

Maggie’s heart pounded harder than her footsteps on the concrete.  Her feet ached, but her mind only thought of David.  Already ten minutes late, she hoped he hadn’t given up on her.

Her heart fell when she saw the unoccupied park bench by the old-fashioned lamp post.  Their meeting place.  Maggie dropped onto the bench and hunched over, forehead resting in her hands.  She willed herself not to cry.

Soon, the wooden slats on the bench bowed and Maggie jerked her head up.  “David,” she whispered, then grinned.  She didn’t want to appear too eager, but she couldn’t hide her joy.

“Margaret, you look beautiful.”

Maggie blushed.  She looked down and touched her hair in a nervous gesture.  “Thank you.”

“I worried you wouldn’t come,” David said, slipping his hand around hers.

“I’m at the store buying milk, you know.”

David smiled.  “You sneaky little liar,” he teased.  “You escaped prison.”

“Oh, stop.  She means well.”  Maggie shook her head.  “She thinks you’re only after one thing.”

He leaned so close, his lips brushed her ear.  “She’s right.”

Maggie gasped.

“I’m after your heart, Margaret Ruth Martin.”

He already had that, but she couldn’t admit it just yet.  Instead, she summoned her voice of reason.  “But we only met three weeks ago.”

“It feels like longer.  Time passes more swiftly for us.”  He scooted closer.

Maggie drew an uneasy breath when David’s lips moved toward hers.  She wanted to run away, but she wanted to taste his kiss.  Her heart skipped a beat when their lips touched.

Her cell phone chimed and they both jumped.

She let out a nervous giggle.  “At our age… can you imagine?”  She fumbled to display the message.  “My daughter is worried.”

“She can wait.”  David slid the phone from her grasp and set it on the bench.  He cupped her face in his hands.  “Margaret, you may be seventy-five, but you don’t look a day over sixty.”

“Why, that’s the sweetest—”

His kiss smothered her words.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

This is my entry in the Trifecta weekly writing challenge.  We were asked to write a 33-333 word response (mine came in at 333 owrds) using the following word and definition:

UNEASY – marked by lack of ease : awkward, embarrassed <gave an uneasy laugh>

If you’d like to give the challenge a go, click the tricycle picture to visit Trifecta’s site for full instructions.

As always, I appreicate you stopping by to read my story.

Advertisements

72 thoughts on “First Kiss

  1. deanabo October 1, 2012 / 3:04 PM

    I love this! how sweet. I cant wait to grow old with my sweetie!

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:51 PM

      Thanks, Deana! I’m glad you liked this story.

  2. Ketunlaulu October 1, 2012 / 3:08 PM

    Could not help but thing aww at the end. Well written

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:52 PM

      Thanks so much, Ketunlaulu! I appreciate you taking time to read my story.

  3. Rachael L October 1, 2012 / 3:25 PM

    Well done-I loved this piece!!! Twice you had me expecting something completely different!! At first I was thinking she was escaping her husband, then I thought she was escaping her mom.

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:53 PM

      Funny – I didn’t see the escaping the husband part when I wrote it. Reading it again since your comment, I see how it could look that way. I wish I could claim the double twist was intentional, but I’m not that clever 🙂 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Rachael!

    • Amy @BettyRants October 1, 2012 / 9:02 PM

      Like Rachel, I first thought husband, then thought mother! Excellent piece, Janna. I smiled with my face and my heart at the ending.

      • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:26 PM

        Thanks, Amy. I’m glad you enjoyed the story and that it left you with a smile 🙂

  4. Carl D'Agostino October 1, 2012 / 3:39 PM

    “But we only met three weeks ago.” change to “But we met only three weeks ago.”

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:56 PM

      You’re right, Carl…it is grammatically incorrect. I left it that way because I felt like that’s how the character would speak it. (Like, “we just met three weeks ago.”) Thanks for your careful reading 🙂

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:56 PM

      Thanks, Widdershins. I like twists whenever I can think of them 🙂

  5. http://jesterqueen.com October 1, 2012 / 3:57 PM

    I just love the twist!!! Daughter should quit worrying – they deserve some happiness. I’m Okay with ‘only met’ “met only” sounds heavy-in-the-mouth.

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 4:57 PM

      Thanks, Jester Queen. I almost changed the ‘only’ to ‘just’ to avoid the issue, but I liked ‘only better 🙂 I think the daughter needs to lighten up, as well. Mom may only have a few years left, she should live it happily!

      • http://jesterqueen.com October 1, 2012 / 7:46 PM

        So true. My grandfather and his travelling companion enjoy every minute of each other’s company, and none of us begrudge them any of it.

        • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:28 PM

          Good for them, Jester Queen. Often, the later years can be lonely. They’re much happier spent with someone else.

  6. Debbie October 1, 2012 / 5:30 PM

    Aw, this is just too cute, Janna! I love plot twists, and I hadn’t guessed that it was the Mom, not the Daughter, who was romancing. Good one!

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:29 PM

      I’m glad it wasn’t obvious, Debbie. I tried not to give it away too early 🙂 Thanks for stopping by to read it!

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:29 PM

      Thanks for reading it, Patty. I appreciate it!

  7. nrhatch October 1, 2012 / 6:10 PM

    Sounded very old fashioned . . . until the cell phone chimed it’s interruption. Lovely write, Janna.

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:32 PM

      They are having an old-fashioned courtship. Technology does tend to barge in on our moments 🙂 Thanks for taking time to read the story, Nancy.

  8. Gina October 1, 2012 / 6:45 PM

    Oooohhh! Perfect! I just love the romance and the thrill for her/them being in their golden years. It’s so cute that she’s worried and escaped and that her daughter called. and that e put her phone aside!

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 9:36 PM

      Yeah, sometimes we have to put the gadgets aside and live in the moment 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by to read the story and I’m glad you enjoyed it, Gina!

  9. pattisj October 1, 2012 / 10:02 PM

    You knocked another one out of the park, Janna! Oh, it was IN the park, wasn’t it? Sweet.

    • jannatwrites October 1, 2012 / 10:08 PM

      Hahaha! Good one, Patti 🙂 I normally avoid romance stories, so I was a bit uneasy about tackling this one. I’m glad you took some time to check it out!

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:08 PM

      I appreciate you stopping by to read it, Ruby.

  10. Lucy Miller Robinson October 2, 2012 / 9:18 AM

    Aw, this is sweet. Loved the twist at the end. It’s kind of rare to read about the elderly finding love. Well done.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:12 PM

      Many are still young at heart, but sometimes we don’t see them that way. Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts on the story, Lucy!

  11. newwhitebear October 2, 2012 / 11:51 AM

    First kiss? It’s a very sweet memory, that each takes into the heart with him.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:12 PM

      A first kiss is forever, even if the relationship doesn’t last. Glad you stopped by, Newwhitebear 🙂

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:14 PM

      Thanks, Annette. I’m glad you enjoyed the story!

  12. GodGirl October 2, 2012 / 2:27 PM

    Great twist! Very well done.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:14 PM

      Thanks, GodGirl. I appreciate you reading the story 🙂

  13. Christine October 2, 2012 / 4:01 PM

    Oh, this is fantastic! I love it! You totally surprised me.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:15 PM

      Yay! I am pleased their age wasn’t apparent until the end. Thanks for stopping by to read it, Christine 🙂

  14. kgwaite October 2, 2012 / 5:36 PM

    Very sweet and a nice twist. I could see the characters. Nice job.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:17 PM

      Thanks so much, Kelly. I appreciate you reading it.

  15. Jeanna October 2, 2012 / 7:35 PM

    Once again, amazingly well done. You’ve set the bar very high.

    • jannatwrites October 2, 2012 / 8:18 PM

      I’m glad you liked the story, Jeanna. Thanks for your kind words 🙂

  16. Wisper October 3, 2012 / 8:22 AM

    Well done. I thought she was a young kid at first as well. The conversation flowed nicely and felt very natural.

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 9:07 PM

      Thanks, Wisper. It’s helpful to know the conversation seemed believable 🙂

  17. Sandra October 3, 2012 / 9:01 AM

    Oh, how I love this, Janna! Here I am picturing a pair of young kids… Wonderful story, and I love his compliment to her! This really leaves a sweet aftertaste in my mouth. 🙂

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:05 PM

      Thanks, Sandra. I’m glad you liked the story of the not-so-young new lovebirds 🙂

  18. kenyagjohnson October 3, 2012 / 12:14 PM

    AWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Waaaaah – that was SOOOOOO sweet. LOVE IT. I want to read more.

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:08 PM

      Your comment made me smile, Kenya. Thanks so much for reading- I’m glad you liked the story 🙂

  19. Linda Vernon October 3, 2012 / 12:29 PM

    Oh I just loved that twisty ending! HA! 😀

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:10 PM

      Thanks, Linda! Appreciate you reading it 🙂

  20. Carrie October 3, 2012 / 1:35 PM

    that ending was AWESOME!! Definitely unexpected and SO freakin’ adorable!!!

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:11 PM

      Thanks so much, Carrie. I like that you didn’t expect the ending – that’s what I was going for!

  21. Brian Benoit October 3, 2012 / 2:43 PM

    Love it! I want to call it a twist, but that carries negative connotations in my mind — so let’s say it’s a slow realization. From the prison reference, where the reader’s mind starts trying to work out what’s going on, there’s a great unfolding to the end. Really nice.

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:15 PM

      Hehehe…well, there are different kinds of twists. Confusing, off-the-wall ones aren’t so fun; subtle plays on assumptions are fun, though. I’m glad you liked the story, Brian. Thanks for reading 🙂

  22. Annabelle October 3, 2012 / 5:13 PM

    Aw! The reversal here is so charming; I love that they’re feeling impetuous even at their age.

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:21 PM

      Thanks, Annabelle. I don’t think new love is any less nerve-racking with age.

  23. Imelda October 3, 2012 / 6:59 PM

    Oh, what a twist! 🙂 I am worried for her though – that David better be a good man. He is too fast.

    • jannatwrites October 3, 2012 / 10:22 PM

      Oh, if he gets out of line, I’m pretty sure her daughter would straighten him out 🙂 Thanks for checking out the story, Imelda!

  24. Jonesingafter40 October 4, 2012 / 7:02 AM

    What a lovely surprise at the end of this one… and extremely well-written. I love it!!

    • jannatwrites October 4, 2012 / 10:12 PM

      I’m happy you liked this story, Jonesing. Thanks so much for reading!

  25. Trifecta (@trifectawriting) October 4, 2012 / 3:39 PM

    Nice sense of urgency here. As it is with new love at any age. Thanks for playing along. Come on back soon.

    • jannatwrites October 4, 2012 / 10:23 PM

      She just might, Victoria 🙂 Thanks for reading the story!

  26. Tina October 4, 2012 / 6:38 PM

    Awwwww! So beautiful. I got a little something in my eye reading this.

    • jannatwrites October 4, 2012 / 10:31 PM

      Maybe it was allergies, Tina 🙂 (That’s what I say when I get misty eyed…but no one buys it!) Thanks for stopping by to read the story.

  27. largerthanlifeblog October 8, 2012 / 9:34 PM

    Ahh!! so sweet! And the twist was a real good one! Enjoyed the piece

    🙂
    Sayori

    • jannatwrites October 9, 2012 / 8:09 AM

      Thanks so much for reading, Sayori. I’m happy you enjoyed the story!

Got an opinion? Share it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s