Global Warming

Heather read the cartoon’s caption: “Did you find the shampoo?” the husband asks. The blonde answers, “yes, but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine. What should I do?”

She smacked the newspaper with the back of her hand. “I’ve had it!”

“What’s wrong?” Amanda asked.

“Another ridiculous blonde joke.” Heather thrust the paper at her friends. “Doesn’t it bother you that we’re made out to be imbeciles?”

Charlene shrugged. “I don’t pay any attention.”

Amanda giggled. Noticing Heather’s glare, she muttered, “sorry, but it was kind of funny.”

“We’re college-educated women. Brunettes are just jealous ‘cause we have more fun,” Heather said. “It’s time we take a stand!”

“You’re right,” Amanda agreed, nodding. “They give me the stink eye when their husbands gawk at me.”

“What do you have in mind?” Charlene asked.

*****

Francesca Hernandez, a local reporter, arrived at Wanda’s World of Wigs, tipped off by a flurry of tweets about a staged uprising. She sat in the van, stunned. Brunette wigs made a flaming bonfire in the middle of Broadway Road. Angry blondes, fueled by blind rage, shouted anti-brunette epithets and smashed store windows.

“Let’s go,” her cameraman, Nate, said.

“Are you crazy?” Francesca asked, her Hispanic accent more pronounced than usual.

Nate’s phone rang. “Ello,” he said. “Uh-huh…. wow.” Another pause. “Let me put you on speaker.”

“Riots have broken out across Europe. Downtown Berlin is burning, Amsterdam is under siege, and there are reports of hostage situations in Oslo and Stockholm. Wait….”

Francesca’s eyes widened. Nate shrugged his shoulders.

“We now have confirmed fatalities in Australia and South Africa. Guys, the Blonde Revolution has gone global and it all started in Phoenix. Get me a story.  Now!”

Francesca squealed as the door opened and the mob dragged her from the van.

“Cut or color?” An angry flaxen haired woman shouted.

“Please don’t cut my hair,” Francesca pleaded as she eyed several bald, crying women.

“Blonde it is!”

“And, here’s our story,” Nate said, camera rolling.

 ~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~-~~~~~~~~-

This is my entry in the Trifecta weekly writing challenge.   We were asked to use the following word in a 33 – 333 word response (mine came in at 333):

BLIND (adjective):  a : having no regard to rational discrimination, guidance, or restriction <blind choice>  b : lacking a directing or controlling consciousness <blind chance>  c : drunk

If you’d like to give the prompt a try, check out Trifecta’s site by clicking on the tricycle picture.

I hope this story didn’t offend anyone of any hair color.  This was simply meant to be a humorous story about what can happen when we let our opinions rule our rational mind.  When we live by the mantra, “everyone is entitled to an opinion, as long as it’s the same as mine,” wigs are going to get burned 🙂

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50 thoughts on “Global Warming

    • jannatwrites September 24, 2012 / 3:58 PM

      Glad you found the humor, Widdershins. Thanks for stopping by and laughing with me 🙂

    • jannatwrites September 24, 2012 / 3:59 PM

      Thanks so much for reading, Newwhitebear. I appreciate you visiting today!

  1. Michael September 24, 2012 / 12:56 PM

    Blondes of the world, unite! 😛

    • jannatwrites September 24, 2012 / 3:59 PM

      Yep, the world better watch out. They’ve put up with the blonde jokes for years, but they’ve had it!

  2. deanabo September 24, 2012 / 1:33 PM

    This is so funny! I love being blonde!

    • jannatwrites September 24, 2012 / 4:00 PM

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, Deanabo. I’d prefer not to have a cut or a color, thank you 🙂

    • jannatwrites September 24, 2012 / 4:01 PM

      Glad you’re laughing, Rebecca. I hope you wear a hat when you go out…I know I will 🙂

  3. Lumdog September 25, 2012 / 4:51 AM

    Lol! That was one blonde joke too many. Are the guys safe from their wrath? Great story.

    • jannatwrites September 25, 2012 / 8:53 AM

      I guess they weren’t harmless jokes after all 🙂 Right now, guys are safe – they are targeting women. Thanks for reading, Lumdog!

  4. nrhatch September 25, 2012 / 8:50 AM

    I’ve never met a blonde joke I didn’t enjoy.

    Signed,
    Blondie

    • jannatwrites September 25, 2012 / 8:54 AM

      Way to enjoy the peace of not taking life too seriously, Nancy 🙂

  5. nrhatch September 25, 2012 / 8:52 AM

    Terrific parable, Janna!

    It’s amazing the things that people get “up in arms” over . . .

    Too many people are too quick to take offense, instead of just shrugging off the ignorance and stupidity of narrow minded people.

    Live . . . and let live.

    • jannatwrites September 25, 2012 / 8:58 AM

      Thanks, Nancy! It seems like people are all too ready to attack others who may think differently. I just don’t think beating people into submission gets them to see the same POV. Could be just me, though 🙂

      I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts on the subject!

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:16 PM

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Laura. I’m glad you liked the story 🙂

  6. Jeanna September 25, 2012 / 9:53 AM

    Awesome story! I feel the pain even though I’m a redhead – we don’t have souls, you know.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:17 PM

      I hadn’t heard that about redheads, Jeanna. But I’ve heard about their tempers. Uh-oh, that didn’t make you mad, did it? 😆 Thanks for stopping by!

  7. Debbie September 25, 2012 / 12:03 PM

    Too funny, Janna! And no, I’m not offended event though I’m a blonde. You’re right — why can’t we live and let live a bit? You know, appreciate the things we have in common as well as the differences.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:18 PM

      I think living in harmony is much better than getting hot under the collar and trying muscle others into seeing it my way. Thanks for stopping by to read the story!

  8. diannegray September 25, 2012 / 3:04 PM

    Wonderful story, Janna – (as stated by a brunette 🙂 )

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:19 PM

      Thanks, Dianne. We’d better watch our brunette heads 🙂

  9. Carrie September 25, 2012 / 7:36 PM

    Tis was delightfully clever! A blond revolution! Why not?

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:20 PM

      Thanks, Carrie! A blonde revolution could be dangerous. They have many years of blonde jokes to avenge. (Lets hope the ‘pollocks’ don’t join in :))

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:21 PM

      Glad you liked the humor, Habibadanyal. I appreciate you reading.

  10. kgwaite@gmail.com September 26, 2012 / 4:00 AM

    This was cute – But you definitely conveyed the reporter’s fear – Well done.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:21 PM

      I wouldn’t want to be a brunette in the middle of that mess 🙂 Thanks for reading, Kelly!

  11. Ruby Manchanda September 26, 2012 / 7:02 AM

    What a take on the prompt. Thoroughly enjoyable

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:22 PM

      I’m glad you liked it, Ruby. I do appreciate you stopping by to read my story!

  12. Lance September 26, 2012 / 7:45 AM

    funny but with depth. I dug it the most.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:23 PM

      Thanks, Lance. I’m glad you liked the humor. It’s not all that far-fetched with how the world is today.

  13. Trifecta (@trifectawriting) September 26, 2012 / 11:52 AM

    I enjoyed the humor in this piece, but what really struck me was your effortless dialogue. Nice work. Thanks for playing around. Be sure to come on back soon.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:24 PM

      I had fun with the challenge. As always, thanks for giving us the opportunity to stretch our creativity.

  14. pattisj September 26, 2012 / 11:54 AM

    Well, I have gray hair, and I feel left out. 😦
    Quite funny, actually, although I could see it happening.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:25 PM

      Well, you should feel lucky, Patti. You can keep your hair (even grow it, too!) You’re like Switzerland 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

  15. Annabelle September 26, 2012 / 3:51 PM

    Ha! I think I’m glad I live in a very brunette-heavy area. Safety in numbers and all.

    • jannatwrites September 26, 2012 / 5:26 PM

      Let’s hope the numbers game works 🙂 Thanks for reading, Annabelle!

  16. Imelda September 26, 2012 / 8:04 PM

    Growing up with dark brown mostly black hair, I dreamed of golden curls. 🙂
    This was nicely done. I think the blondes have a reason to be angry at the flak they’ve been having. 😀

    • jannatwrites September 27, 2012 / 10:03 PM

      I remember wanting blonde (or red) hair, too. I think it’s normal to want what we don’t have. Thanks for reading, Imelda!

  17. Renada Styles September 27, 2012 / 9:04 AM

    XD this was hilarious! thank goodness i’m a brunette! haha

    • jannatwrites September 27, 2012 / 10:11 PM

      It’s good until the blondes catch up with us, Renada 🙂 Thanks for reading…glad you laughed along with me on this one.

  18. Linda Vernon September 27, 2012 / 8:46 PM

    Ha! Absolutely loved it! And not just because I’m sort of blonde! 😀

    • jannatwrites September 27, 2012 / 10:20 PM

      Thanks, Linda! I’m glad you enjoyed the blonde revolution. I appreciate you stopping by 🙂

  19. jackkastor September 28, 2012 / 10:25 AM

    The way you drive dialogue is fantastic. When I try to drive dialogue I usually end up getting pulled over.

    • jannatwrites September 30, 2012 / 8:28 PM

      Hahaha! Thanks for the compliment, and the laugh, Jackkastor. I appreciate you taking time to read it and share your thoughts 🙂

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