Change of Plans

Last week, it finally rained.  Normally, I am excited when Mother Nature waters the desert, but I’ve been out of sorts (mostly due to recently becoming a single-income family.)  When I saw this one morning:

Proof of rain

My first thought was, “Great.  It rained last night and the roof still isn’t fixed from a storm in July.”  (We’ve had trouble finding replacement tile because it’s not made anymore.)

Broken roof tiles

My second thought was, “Nice breeding ground for mosquitoes.  West Nile virus, anyone?”

I am usually a glass-half-full kind of girl.  I have an annoying ability to see the bright side of the darkest situations (except, apparently, if they star me.)  As of late, my outlook makes Eeyore look like Pollyanna.  I don’t like it one bit.

My glass may be half full, but it’s been sitting out for six hours…

Enough of that!  Today, I decided to actively focus on good things in my life.

  1. I am healthy, and so is the rest of my family
  2. We have a roof over our head (even it if is missing a few tiles :)) and it isn’t immediately threatened by our single-income status
  3. I have the support of friends and family who give me strength when I don’t think I have any left.
  4. My older son recently had a birthday.  He didn’t complain about a scaled-down birthday, but was grateful for what he did receive.  Ten years ago, I became his mother, and he’s been teaching me ever since.

Even though life isn’t what I thought it would be right now, I am grateful for the blessings that are easy to take for granted- like family and friendships.  I have to trust that God is my shelter.  My reaction to our circumstances is me mourning the loss of the plans I made.  These scriptures ease the burden of that loss:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

Soon, I will see the world like this again…I just know it!
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23 thoughts on “Change of Plans

  1. J. P. Cabit August 19, 2012 / 4:33 AM

    Aw, I hope optimism finds its way back to you again. It sounds a little lost in the woods. 😦

    Pollyanna, he he… (Did you know that there’s nudity and swearing in that movie?)

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:05 PM

      I didn’t know that, Seph. I’ve never seen Pollyanna, just heard of the overly optimistic character. Thanks for the education!

  2. yvonneroot August 19, 2012 / 5:42 AM

    Because I’ve been through some times of seeing that stinking half full glass of milk souring on the counter I have an understanding of what you’re seeing now.

    Also, because I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to sneak in an ad here I hesitated to offer this bit of thought. Then, I realized that it was worth the risk.

    Have you spent time with a handwritten journal? Besides slowing down the thought process enough to get a firmer grasp on the reality surrounding you, you also have opportunity to see the patterns, connections and graces happening in your life. While you are slowed down by the writing you are fast forwarded by the information and insights gained.

    My prayer for you and your family is that you see, know and celebrate in the Grace He provides. It isn’t easy. I know because I’ve been there before too. 🙂

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:14 PM

      Thanks for your nice, supportive comment, Yvonne. I do appreciate the prayers.

      I haven’t written in journals because of a lifelong realization that my written words are evidence of my thoughts, and once they are written down, they’re there for others to read and misconstrue or get inside my head. (It doesn’t help that I know someone whose mistrusting partner sought out and read her journal. Not that my hubby would do that (and live to tell about it) but it reinforces my idea that it’s safer that the pages don’t exist.)

      I know it’s weird, but since adolescence, I’ve expressed my turmoil through poetry. It was almost like a journal with encryption. I do agree that if I can get over this strange apprehension, there would be benefit in just letting it flow.

      Thanks for the suggestion, and I didn’t take it as a self-serving ad, at all. I’m glad you took the risk and wrote the comment 🙂

  3. nrhatch August 19, 2012 / 5:53 AM

    “As of late, my outlook makes Eeyore look like Pollyanna. I don’t like it one bit.”

    Yup.

    This summer has been the “worst.” I have had to remind myself, repeatedly, to resist the pull of pessimism. Most days, I succeed in eluding its tenacious tentacles long enough for smiles and laughter to dispel the doom and gloom . . . allowing me to run between the raindrops for a time. 😎

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:17 PM

      I just read your post, Nancy…we’re totally on the same wavelength. Kinda scary, huh?

      I’m working on my optimism; some days are better than others. The ‘run between the raindrops’ phrase creates a carefree, happy image. I tried to run between the raindrops, but it turned out to be a hail storm.

      I see I have some work to do 😆

    • nrhatch August 19, 2012 / 6:22 PM

      Your post prompted mine, Janna. The image of running through the raindrops has been in my head for the past few days. After commenting here, I headed round to SLTW to share the same thoughts there.

      Here’s to brighter days ahead. And to finding things to smile about in the interim.

      • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 7:04 PM

        Ah, I’m sorry you can relate to the feeling, Nancy. I am looking forward to brighter days, as well. Keep smiling and dancing 🙂

  4. Imelda August 19, 2012 / 8:46 AM

    I understand your concern about being single income. We are that family since forever – there are things that we cannot easily have, but then there are so many great things to that came with me being a stay-at-home person. You’re still as rich, except that there’s been a shift in your wealth. 🙂

    Somehow, your post reminded me of this passage: “And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints.” (Romans 8:28)

    Have a blessed Sunday. 🙂

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:24 PM

      I’d rather it be me that was at home (I bet I could get more writing done on Ellie’s story, that way!) It’s scary, but once I see that we can make it on a shoestring budget, I’ll feel better. There’s other stuff that goes along with it that makes it more difficult, but unfortunately I can’t do details here, because it reveals way too much. By October, I hope to have this all behind us so we can look forward and not be bitter about what’s behind us.

      I love that passage. It’s not one I’m familiar with. Thanks for taking the time to share your comment, Imelda 🙂

  5. Debbie August 19, 2012 / 1:30 PM

    Janna, I’ve been AWOL from Blog World for a week, and I come back to this puzzle — what’s going on, my friend? Single income? Missing tiles? Eeyore? My word, you sound like you need cheering up! What can I do? I don’t dance, I’m lousy remembering jokes. I can pray, though. I do that a lot, so I’ll add you to my list. Here’s hoping things look up for you real soon!

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:29 PM

      I hope your son is settled for college, Debbie. Missing roof tiles are from a windstorm a few weeks ago. We’ve checked several places and have a referred roofer coming over tomorrow to check it out. I just hope he has connections. (Hubby joked that we should just ‘borrow’ a few from one of the foreclosed homes. Not sounding like a bad idea now 🙂 Only kidding…I’m not a thief.)

      Can’t say too much about the single income, except that it’s been a few weeks now, and it’s not right. Your comment made me laugh, which is quite a help. (I shouldn’t dance, but I do anyway…sometimes, and jokes are best when not told by me.) I appreciate the prayers, Debbie.

  6. pattisj August 19, 2012 / 3:12 PM

    Maybe you aren’t chuckling over the glass sitting out for six hours, but you are still making us smile. Your missing tiles remind me of everything that breaks around our house–no longer available. I had a season where I identified with Eeyore, too, out looking for my lost tail–thanks for noticing. I have the mug and key chain to prove it! And the stuffed Eeyore. I’m praying for you, and yes, you’ll be seeing the Son shine and the silver lining on those troublesome clouds. Hang in there!

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 4:31 PM

      I’m afraid to mutter, “what else” because I’m convinced the world will proceed to show me 🙂 I can’t imagine you as an Eeyore type, Patti. I guess we all get down from time to time. Thanks for your comment…it gives me hope and comfort 🙂

  7. pattyabr August 19, 2012 / 8:27 PM

    Take care I will pray for you.

    • jannatwrites August 19, 2012 / 9:15 PM

      Thanks, Patty. I appreciate the prayers. I keep thinking things have to look up soon 🙂

  8. philosophermouseofthehedge August 20, 2012 / 7:18 AM

    Hey – maybe it’s all to point out that humans were given a brain and the ability to make choices – how great is that?
    Other than that – it’s August: the month of unrelenting glaring bright sun and excessive heat (along with yearly lack of rain and often fires and always mosquitoes)…not optimum weather/month for cheery thoughts. But it’s only going to last just so long – a cycle- …before the frantic frenzy of energizing fall.
    Grab a book or blog or pull a blanket over your head for a bit – you’ll be fine. (rest up now…the stores will be pushing Christmas before long….)
    (roof tiles are a problem here, too – maybe try driving around until finding a contractor working on a similar roof and asking him where his tiles are coming from? That’s how we found some.)
    Oh, pitch the milk – draws flies

    • jannatwrites August 20, 2012 / 10:33 PM

      Hahahaha! Your milk comment made me laugh, Phil…thanks!

      Hubby finally found tiles today. The company went out of business, but this distributor still had some stock. Now to get someone out to put them on the roof….

      I’m all for hiding under the covers and reading a book! No time for that just yet, but I can dream, at least.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your suggestions. I appreciate it 🙂

  9. diannegray August 20, 2012 / 6:48 PM

    So glad you’re the glass half full kinda gal! Well done 🙂

    • jannatwrites August 20, 2012 / 10:37 PM

      Thanks, Dianne. I feel much better when I can see the sunny side (except when I’m referring to eggs on my breakfast plate. In that case, sunnyside is not my preference 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  10. Sandra August 20, 2012 / 7:56 PM

    I know how darn hard it can be with the finances, but I like your positive way of thinking, Janna! I think we all need reminders every now and then to remember how blessed we really are. And I can relate to the optimist in you unless-you’re-the-star train of thought. But then the gratitude list will always turn me right back on track. Thank goodness. =)

    • jannatwrites August 20, 2012 / 10:38 PM

      Thanks, Sandra! I think grateful lists are a great way to put the world in perspective. It shifts my energy from dwelling on what’s wrong, to focusing on what is right.

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