The Plan

It’s been 43 days since Mama told me about my promised marriage, and since the news of my betrothal (I hate that word) everyone avoids me.  I see Mary Jane, but she waves and rushes away.  She used to be my best friend.  Sure, Derek tried to make nice, but he doesn’t count for much.  Mama gave me a tongue lashing after I stomped on his foot last week.  She didn’t care that I did it ‘cause he placed his hand too far up my thigh.  I smile.  The scolding was so worth it. 

I’m at the edge of the cornfield, the stalks towering above my 5 foot 2 frame.  Harvest begins next month and Mama’s worried about cutworms.  I sure hope I don’t find any.  I check the ears on the first plant.  No holes.  I skip a few plants and check again.  I don’t know how long I’ve been at it when I hear leaves rustling behind me.

“Shhh…”  Jeremy says, holding his index finger to his lips.

I let out a nervous laugh ‘cause I think Jeremy is cute and I don’t want to show it.  He’s the only one who’s talked to me since the “news.”

“I can’t stay long.  I overheard the elders talking to my dad last night.  They want to get rid of me because I’m almost marrying age and I haven’t proven myself worthy of a wife.”

Jeremy is different.  His family joined us seven years ago.  “Can I go with you?”  My words tumble out before I can stop them.  I’m wild with excitement at the thought of freedom.

He shakes his head and sighs.  “Derek won’t let me get away with that, Ellie.”

I hear leaves rustle nearby.  We both look behind him but see nothing.

He whispers, “Okay.  Next full moon.  Meet me here at ten.”

Jeremy disappears into the next row of stalks and I resume bug hunting.  I can still feel the sensation of his breath on my ear.


This is the third part of Ellie’s story.  I don’t know exactly where it’s going, so we’ll see where the Trifecta prompts take us 🙂  If you didn’t catch the first two parts, you can read them here and here.

The prompt is to use the following word in a story or poem using between 33 and 333 words (mine is 332):

WILD (adj) –  (1): not subject to restraint or regulation : uncontrolled; also : unruly; (2) : emotionally overcome <wild with grief>; also : passionately eager or enthusiastic.

If you want to submit your own story, check out the Trifecta site for complete instructions!


44 thoughts on “The Plan

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:27 PM

      Thanks for continuing to follow this story, Widdershins 🙂

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:27 PM

      Thanks so much for reading, Newwhitebear!

  1. Imelda May 22, 2012 / 10:14 AM

    That rustle of leaves make me uneasy. They better be careful. Please, please, don’t let Jeremy and Ellie get hurt. I am enjoying this series. I hope she pulls through – in one piece. 🙂

    ~ Imelda

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:28 PM

      Your comment made me smile, Imelda. Maybe the noise was just a bird, or a field mouse….or maybe it wasn’t 🙂

      • Imelda May 22, 2012 / 6:33 PM

        The “it wasn’t part” is the bothersome part. 🙂

        • Imelda May 22, 2012 / 7:16 PM

          Sigh. I guess, I just need to read the next installment. 😉

        • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 11:21 PM

          I hope so, Imelda 🙂

  2. cuhome May 22, 2012 / 10:30 AM

    Love your story-telling! I always feel disappointed when I reach the end of your posts! ♥

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:29 PM

      That’s a huge compliment to me, Janet. I’m glad you’re enjoying the stories – it’s so much more fun when people actually read what I write 🙂

  3. Debbie May 22, 2012 / 11:02 AM

    Yea, poor Ellie’s seen a light at the end of her very dark tunnel! These two kids might not be perfect for each other in a romantic sense, but I’m interested in hearing where their story goes. I’m rooting for them to get out of these arranged marriages and find their way in the world!

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:33 PM

      Even fictional characters need a little light now and then, Debbie. I’m not sure they are a romantic pairing (because I don’t know where the story is going) but at least she’s got a friend. Thanks for continuing to read this story, Debbie.

  4. Tara R. May 22, 2012 / 11:32 AM

    I hope they can escape. This story is full of wonderful tension and expectation.

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:33 PM

      Thanks, Tara! I appreciate you stopping by to read it 🙂

  5. braintomahawk May 22, 2012 / 12:26 PM

    I like the jump a month later – keeps us open for ‘between’ information. Also it gets us closer to the end of the ‘year’.
    You’ve got us hooked! Great job!

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:36 PM

      Yay! I’m glad you’re interested in the story, Braintomahawk. I’m curious where the story will go from here…I hope the prompts cooperate 🙂

  6. Diane Turner May 22, 2012 / 4:05 PM

    I’m so enjoying the tension in the story. It says volumes that she is “wild with excitement at the thought of freedom.” Great job!

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:39 PM

      Thanks, Diane! When her freedom is threatened, she’s all the more eager to keep it.

  7. Sandra May 22, 2012 / 6:39 PM

    I love that you are able to continue this story with the prompts! There’s so much suspense and emotions here. Was that wind or someone listening to their conversation?! I really enjoy your storytelling. =)

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 6:44 PM

      So far, the prompts have been workable. We’ll see if it continues. I have ideas of what the noise could be but I can’t hint one or another because it could change depending on the next prompt. It’s so hard not to take the story and run with it 🙂

      Thanks for reading, Sandra…I do appreciate it!

  8. nrhatch May 22, 2012 / 8:02 PM

    I hope Ellie gets away!

    • jannatwrites May 22, 2012 / 11:22 PM

      She sure needs to…we’ll have to see what happens. Thanks for reading, Nancy!

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:30 PM

      Thanks for stopping by, Pointless Paranoia!

  9. Annabelle May 23, 2012 / 7:01 AM

    Go, Ellie, go! She *has* to get away — she’s too great to waste on that marriage.

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:32 PM

      Being forced into a marriage is not a life I would want, that’s for sure. Thanks for reading, Annabelle!

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:36 PM

      Thanks for stopping by to read my story, Sandra!

  10. Shawna May 23, 2012 / 11:48 AM

    Ooh, this was exciting! Can’t wait to find out what happens next. 🙂

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:37 PM

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, Shawna. I appreciate you taking time to read it!

  11. Gina May 23, 2012 / 12:27 PM

    Who’s out there rustling those leaves? Go, kids, go! I like that this story keeps on going for us readers.

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:37 PM

      It could be a bird, a field mouse or a person…we’ll have to see! Thanks for continuing to read the story, Gina 🙂

  12. jesterqueen (@jesterqueen) May 23, 2012 / 8:32 PM

    Oh I hope they aren’t caught. I fear they’ve been overheard. This is a fantastic, and from everything I’ve read, quite accurate, description of a cult.

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:43 PM

      I can’t vouch for the accuracy, but I’m glad it’s at least believable 🙂 As for them being overheard…we’ll have to see! Thanks for reading, Jester Queen.

  13. GodGirl May 23, 2012 / 9:33 PM

    Love how you captured those first flutters of romantic love in the midst of an oppressive environment. You have a real gift, always great to read your work.

    • jannatwrites May 23, 2012 / 9:45 PM

      Thank you for the huge compliment/encouragement, God Girl. I appreciate you taking time to read and share your thoughts.

  14. Eric Alagan May 23, 2012 / 10:34 PM

    Let’s hope the noise is not a rattler slithering after a field mouse and….

    • jannatwrites May 24, 2012 / 12:16 AM

      Well that would take a scary turn, now wouldn’t it? I hope it’s not that, either…but what it is could be worse…

      Thanks for stopping by to read the story, Eric!

    • jannatwrites May 25, 2012 / 8:36 PM

      Thanks for stopping by to read my story, Mel!

  15. trifecta (@trifectawriting) May 25, 2012 / 4:25 AM

    Thanks for linking up. I love the setting of this piece–I can absolutely feel myself watching them in the field. I don’t know a thing about fields or crops, but I love your detail of the worm. This is really good stuff. Hope to see you back again soon.

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