Love’s Fool

In the candlelight,

His hands envelop mine.

Secrets on the table,

Love wilting on the vine.

I never meant to hurt you.

I reserve my tears.

Pandora’s box is open,

I wrestle with my fears.

I want to make this work.

It would be easier to try.

So many years together,

Children…hearts…assets to divide.

I love you.

I love him too – my resolve cracks.

I want to be his only one,

Maybe I could take him back.

I swear it’ll never happen again.

The door closes, locks with a click;

That promise broken thrice before.

My stomach lurches, suddenly sick.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

Before you go thinking my hubby is a cad, I’d like to clarify that this is a fictional poem.  There’s no cheating, leaving, fighting, or anything else that would make up a sad country song going on (unless dirty dishes left in the kitchen sink counts.)

So, the Trifecta weekend challenge this week is frustratingly vague. I need direction. I like rules (so at least I know where I need to bend.) But no. This week, we got a map, and were told to get there…but with nary a hint of how to do it. This entry may be a wrong turn, but I have two more tries to find my way!

Here’s the challenge: “This week’s Trifextra challenge is simple, but ambiguous. Three truths and a lie. 33 to 333 words.”

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45 thoughts on “Love’s Fool

  1. Carl D'Agostino May 5, 2012 / 5:50 AM

    “I swear it’ll never happen again.” Often spoken with the most sincere intentions but the tiger cannot change his stripes. Or was that a zebra ? Spots. Maybe it was spots and the leopard cannot change his spots ? Whatever.

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:25 PM

      You got it Carl – I think the person does believe those words. But like all those animals that can’t change their markings, it’s not so easy for us to change. Thanks for visiting today!

  2. Damyanti May 5, 2012 / 6:41 AM

    That’s quite a ‘challenging’ challenge, and you’ve done remarkably well.

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:29 PM

      Thanks for your compliment, Damyanti. I wrote five different pieces for this challenge and three of them deleted entirely they were so bad! I appreciate you taking time to read and comment!

  3. Sandra May 5, 2012 / 7:02 AM

    Beautifully written. You captured a classic lie so well. So sad, though, for the women who keep riding this emotional roller coaster.

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:34 PM

      Thanks, Sandra. It is an emotional roller that I am glad to not be riding 🙂

  4. pattyabr May 5, 2012 / 8:20 AM

    yes it did feel like a country song. now we need some tunes to those lyrics 🙂

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:42 PM

      Why don’t you work on the tunes and let me know what you come up with, Patty? I can make up words, but tunes? Not so much 🙂

  5. cuhome May 5, 2012 / 10:58 AM

    Glad to hear this is fiction for you. Still, it’s a wrenchingly accurate depiction of the heart, being pulled to and fro. Thanks for sharing it! I like it!

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:45 PM

      I’ve felt the pull of ‘should I stay or should I go’ in relationships before – it is an agonizing place to be. Thanks for reading, Janet, and I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  6. TikkTok May 5, 2012 / 11:03 AM

    Love it! I, for the most part, went the autobiographical bullet-point way. 😉

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:46 PM

      I’m so behind – I haven’t read the entries yet (but I will). I can’t wait to see what you did with the challenge, TikkTok!

      • TikkTok May 5, 2012 / 10:13 PM

        I ended up with 4, actually. I stopped at 3 yesterday, but had some suggestions to do a complete 4 (as in, 3 truths and a lie) so I wrote one more. Fun!

        • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 10:26 PM

          You made this challenge look way too easy, and here I am with bruises on my forehead from banging it on my desk 🙂 I read all of your entries (and the extra) – nice work!

        • TikkTok May 5, 2012 / 10:43 PM

          Thanks! Sometimes, a wide open field is easier than something (like the goldilocks one)because there are so many different directions a person can go. 😆

        • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 11:37 PM

          I guess so (for you adventurous types) 🙂

        • TikkTok May 6, 2012 / 1:17 PM

          😆

  7. Debbie May 5, 2012 / 11:44 AM

    Especially glad to hear this is all in your writer’s imagination! Well done, too!

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:47 PM

      Thanks, Debbie! Nothing else I did for this prompt worked right. Would have been easier if it was three lies and a truth 🙂

  8. newwhitebear May 5, 2012 / 2:11 PM

    “I love you”
    The love is a perfect fool but you love him truely.
    It’s a beautiflu poetry. Brava.

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:47 PM

      Thanks so much, Newwhitebear. I do appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts 🙂

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:48 PM

      Thanks, Kelly! I appreciate you reading it, and I’m glad you liked the ending 🙂

  9. Mel May 5, 2012 / 7:07 PM

    This is beautifully written with such a sad ending. Great take on the prompt!

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:49 PM

      Thanks, Mel! I’m curious to see what others do with the prompt 🙂

  10. nrhatch May 5, 2012 / 7:12 PM

    Well done, Janna.

    One quick fix needed: His hands envelope mine. ~> envelop

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:50 PM

      Yikes, you’re right. I hate it when I do that. Fixed 🙂

  11. Paula J May 5, 2012 / 7:27 PM

    I really like the line “love wilting on the vine.”

    • jannatwrites May 5, 2012 / 9:51 PM

      Thanks, Paula. I appreciate you taking time to read and share your opinion!

  12. Jester Queen May 6, 2012 / 7:12 AM

    Once a liar always a liar. But you’re right. The first three are surely intended to be truths!

    • jannatwrites May 6, 2012 / 3:52 PM

      I think he honestly believes all of them are true, but she’s learned better. Thanks for reading, Jester Queen!

  13. OldDogNewTits May 6, 2012 / 6:30 PM

    I really like how you crafted this one. But it makes me sad. 😦

    • jannatwrites May 6, 2012 / 9:17 PM

      Thanks, ODNT. Sorry about the sad ending, but when lies are involved, it rarely results in happiness 🙂

  14. Chris May 6, 2012 / 6:35 PM

    Great response to the prompt. Such a hard truth for so many. Great representation of a liar trying to be sincere and honest.

    • jannatwrites May 6, 2012 / 9:18 PM

      Thanks, Chris! I think he believes what he’s saying, but she’s wised up a little 🙂

  15. judithhb May 6, 2012 / 7:21 PM

    I’m glad its all in your imagination – but I do know several friends who have endured just such a conversation. Well done Janna!

    • jannatwrites May 6, 2012 / 9:19 PM

      I have also met people who have lived this and it’s tragic. Thanks for stopping by, Judith 🙂

  16. Christine May 6, 2012 / 9:29 PM

    So, when I was working on this prompt in my head, I was remembering it as “three lies and a truth.” My original response was going to be very similar to this, actually, only from the other perspective. Maybe I’ll post it later in the week just for fun.

    I love the line “secrets on the table.” Also, nice nod to Trifecta with “That promise broken thrice before.”

    • jannatwrites May 6, 2012 / 9:36 PM

      I’d be curious to read your orignal response, Christine. I hope you do post it! Thanks for taking the time to read and share what you liked 🙂

  17. Trifecta (@trifectawriting) May 7, 2012 / 5:01 AM

    This may not make sense, but I like how you show a certain honesty in this character even though he is lying. It seems he thinks he’s being honest, but doesn’t have the resolve or inner strength to follow through on his promises. The end is sad, for sure, but it’s a lovely piece. Thanks for linking up.

    • jannatwrites May 7, 2012 / 5:26 AM

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts on the poem. Appreciated 🙂

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