THE LIGHT
Unfamiliar voices. My condition, prognosis: severe trauma… coma… likely brain damage…
I say, “help.” They don’t hear.
I reach. They don’t see.
“Let her go,” my husband says.
Silence.
Where is the light?
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This week’s Trifecta weekend challenge: “Write a horror story in 33 words, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun, or kill. Good luck.”
This is my second entry, and I thought I’d better take the challenge seriously. This scenario scares me…does it scare you?
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Actually, no. It doesn’t scare me . . . but you’re probably going to give other readers nightmares tonight.
Go Janna!
I should clarify – dying doesn’t really scare me…not seeing the light does 🙂
Thanks for reading, Nancy!
It’s worrying! There’s the sensation that you are a dead man but alive.
Yes, it’s that in between space – the unknown that can be scary. Thanks for reading 🙂
“I reach. They don’t see.” Powerful words. Good writing!
Thanks, Mel. I appreciate you stopping by to read my story 🙂
wow that is too real to my real life
I hope you are referring to the medical part, rather than a personal disconnect with those around you, Patty. Thanks for visiting today!
yes the medical part 🙂
Oh, good, Patty! I’m glad to hear that 🙂
Have to wonder if that’s ever happened.
We have no way to know…I think that’s why it’s scary. Thanks for reading, Patti!
Now there is an ending that is eerie. “Where is the light?” I believe in the afterlife, and ironically, the ending was the worst for me: the idea that there is no light! Very well written. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/03/30/1955-trifecta-disturbing-photo-included/
That was the scariest part to me, too, SLP. The thought of leaving this life into nothing is so depressing. Thanks for reading, Amy!
EEK! You just *nailed* my biggest fear! I want my mind to “pass on” before my body shuts down. *shudder* Seriously.
Glad I’m not alone, Dana. This story was a 2-for-1 as far as my fears are concerned (well, three, if you count the fact it is in a hospital :)) Thanks for checking out my story!
Yikes! It never occurred to me NOT to see the light. That would indeed, be horrific!
An eternity of darkness would be miserable. Thanks for stopping by to read my 33-word story, Susan.
Being ‘in there’ but the others around you don’t know? Horrifying to me. Nice job.
Came from the Trifextra linkup.
Thanks, LetMeStartBySaying. I appreciate you reading it and sharing your thoughts.
Thanks for the shout out…I’m curious to see your post…I’ll check it out soon!
I think they can always hear us. Sad.
I’ve heard of instances where a person has was unable to move or speak, but had been conscious of what was happening around them. With no way to communicate, loved ones had no idea they were very much alive. Thanks for stopping by, ODNT!
Powerful writing and message in a tiny bundle of words, Janna!
Thanks, Debbie…and, thanks (as always) for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Just outstanding. Cannot applaud enough. It’s just amazing you create so strong a story / reaction with so few words. Artistry
Thank you for the huge compliment, Phil. I’m glad this story ‘spoke’ to you. Thanks for reading and sharing your nice comment 🙂
Maybe there’s some unfinished business? Maybe the light will appear when she’s totally ready? I’m just not convinced this is a bad ending, yet. =)
I like your optimism, Sandra! Maybe she will see the light…but darkness could still lead her way…who knows?
One of my fears in life is to be unable to communicate…a true horror story!
I shudder to imagine it…I pray it never happens. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Jeanne.
That last line really added a layer of horror upon horror. Bad enough to be trapped, unable to let people know you’re still alive – but then to have your hopes for an afterlife dashed as well? Very nicely done.
Thanks, Chrstnj. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts….you “got” the horror I wanted to convey 🙂
yes this scares me for all the above reasons. This is a horror story naturally and not the truth. Unfortunately we don’t know what happens to us after death. And she wasn’t even dead. Maybe in a coma. Comatose patients hear but can’t communicate. That’s why loved ones read to them and nurses leave their favorite music on at the bedside. The doctors do an EEG to tell if the brain is still working before they cut the life lines.
This scary story is fiction at its finest but not a shred of truth in it. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Yes, of course it is fiction, and sketchy at that (not avoidable with only 33 words to use :)) Thanks for reading and sharing your comments, Clar. I appreciate it!
The chilling it gave me in 33 words was well worth it. And horror isn’t my genre. Good job, Janna! 🙂
Horror isn’t my genre either, Clar (obviously!)