My emotions have run the gamut this week. Hope, anger, frustration, helplessness, and determination have broken me down and pulled me back together. Exhausting, yes…but it was a much-needed tune up.
I wish I could tell the full story here and get it all off my chest, but hubby’s job is off-limits. All I can say is that last week, we found out that even though his employer is engaging in barely-legal retaliatory actions, there’s nothing much we can do (unless we have upwards of 30K for a lawyer and the stamina for years of battle).
I want hubby to walk away. He doesn’t want to fold.
Months of anger and frustration came out in the form of a first-class hissy fit that would make any toddler sit up and take notice. I sat alone in my car crying, screaming and spewing angry words that I would never say in the company of others (and frankly, should not say alone either!)
Except for my puffy eyes and stuffed-up nose, I felt better after the cry. After dallying in hateful thoughts of how I could inflict misery upon the perpetrators, I began to think of ways I could turn my anger into something positive. I came up with several ideas.
An elected official isn’t helping our situation. That night, I decided volunteer for the opponent’s campaign, as this in an election year. I submitted a form to offer assistance with blogs, letters to editors, flyers – anything written. (I wrote a post back in 2010 about why I shouldn’t talk to people (I’m Better On Paper), if you haven’t read it already.)
See? Shameless self-promotion carried out so easily by my fingertips, but could never be uttered by my lips 🙂 Sheesh, I can’t even tell people I have a blog, much less suggest that it’s worthy of their time to read it! (So, how could I possibly verbally convince someone to vote for a candidate?)
I honestly don’t know if this candidate has a serious chance of toppling the incumbent, but I will give them my support. It’s what I need to do turn anger into something good.
Oh, I am doing one more thing: I’m praying for enlightenment. Maybe hubby will see the light and leave, realizing that quitting might be best for his sanity. Or maybe this is a fight he’s supposed to take on. My prayer is that God will lead us in the “right” direction.
Psalm 37:1-2: Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
P.S. This is not a political blog, so I will not write political posts here. That identity will be completely separate. (So many personalities emerging…I wonder if this is how Sybil felt?)