Even When The Answer Is “No”

In my January 22nd post, I wrote about my fear and worry associated with our dog, Josie’s health.  I appreciate all the prayers, well-wishes, good thoughts and candle-lighting that you did in response to that post.  Your kindness helped me through a tough time.  It has been several weeks now, and I’m happy (relieved) to report no more full-fledged seizures.  Of course, she does still have twitches and balance issues that make my heart skip a beat, but nothing like the middle-of-the-night horror I witnessed before my husband rushed her to the animal hospital in January.

Sometimes God responds to prayers with a “no” (like a parent does when a child wants a candy bar for dinner).  The child may not like the answer, but the parent knows more about nutrition.

This time, God gave me the answer I wanted to hear – “it’s not Josie’s time to go.”  I know very well that this answer could change at any time.  Hey, it could change for me, or anyone I love.  Remembering this helps me to step back and be thankful for the blessings I do have – even when they don’t feel like blessings in the moment.

When my kids are testing their boundaries (and my patience), it’s easy to forget that God’s plan is probably not to drive me insane by my 40th birthday.  Maybe it is…I don’t know.  If so, God will be pleased to know that as of last night, His plan is on track.

When I come home to yet another dog accident in our bathroom, and wish for a spotless house, I forget that each of our pets touches my soul in ways that make me a better person.  I have to remind myself that if God intended me to have floors clean enough to eat off of, tables and plates would not have been invented.

Like the constant, powerful movement of water sculpts rock formations, events in my life work in repetitive motions to mold me into what He planned for me since the day I took my first breath.  It is amazing to me that water – a substance we drink everyday – can so drastically change a rock’s appearance.  A rock seems so solid and unmovable.  Kind of like me, at times.

I’d like to think that my faith makes me pliable in Your hands, but I’d be kidding myself.  There are times when even I can recognize my rigidity.  Time and again, You have shown that when I trust You, I am not let down, and I am not alone.  Yet I still have a tendency to hold my fears and worries close to my chest, even as I pray that I might have the strength to let them go.  This push and pull leaves me nothing but a knot in my stomach.

I go to sleep with a heavy heart and this prayer on my lips;

That you will give me the strength to tip the balance –

To trust that even if my worries are just and fears are realized,

You will not leave me cold and hungry, but will continue to provide.

Amen.

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14 thoughts on “Even When The Answer Is “No”

  1. GodGirl March 11, 2012 / 2:53 AM

    This is a really engaging, beautiful, honest piece of writing – thank you.. It sounds like God is continually refreshing your perspective on this difficult, frustrating, at times heartbreaking life we lead, and offering you moments of beauty and strength for the journey too… Praying that you keep resting in his arms x

    • jannatwrites March 11, 2012 / 3:26 PM

      Thanks for reading, GodGirl! I will keep praying for the ability to relinquish my own need for control and fully trust His way. Your comment is so nice and I appreciate your prayers.

  2. pattyabr March 11, 2012 / 12:24 PM

    I enjoyed your reflection. Thank you. Josie is so darn cute, blessings to her and your family

    • jannatwrites March 11, 2012 / 3:27 PM

      Thanks, Patty! Josie is a cutie pie and it breaks my heart that her last owners weren’t able to fight for her life. At least she has adjusted to our crazy house 🙂

  3. pattisj March 11, 2012 / 12:46 PM

    Beautiful prayer, Janna. Glad Josie is doing well.

    • jannatwrites March 11, 2012 / 3:27 PM

      Thank you, Patti. We’re glad she is stablr right now, too. Thanks for stopping by today!

  4. Debbie March 12, 2012 / 2:22 PM

    Trusting doesn’t come easily for many of us. It’s easier somehow when lots of things (at least the important ones) go smoothly. Glad Josie is improving! Remember, no one on her deathbed ever wished she’d had more time to clean house!!

    • jannatwrites March 13, 2012 / 12:54 AM

      It is nice when there are at least some things that go smoothly. I am also relieved that Josie is doing well. I’m praying it keeps up. I think my preoccupation on the order in the house is just a refocusing of bigger worries I have that are completely out of my hands. Now to let them go 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Debbie!

  5. newwhitebear March 12, 2012 / 2:29 PM

    Your reflections are deep and honest. All we must weigh up the weight of our prayers.
    Greetngs

    • jannatwrites March 13, 2012 / 12:54 AM

      Thanks for reading NewWhiteBear. I appreciate your support 🙂

  6. becca givens March 17, 2012 / 10:36 AM

    I certainly can relate to this path and how you feel … I provided total hospice care for the matriarch of our canine family … who succumbed to the spiritual world last week. Although very difficult, the experience was a beautiful one for both of us – once I realized God’s answer to my prayer. Sending healing energy for your fur-child, Josie, and strength for you during these trying times. They gives us such unconditional love and joy!

    • jannatwrites March 17, 2012 / 8:23 PM

      I’m so sorry for your loss, Becca. It is so hard to say ‘goodbye’, no matter how much time we have to prepare. I’m glad you found spiritual comfort in caring for your dog until end. Josie has been stable, so for that, I am grateful. Thanks for your comforting comment and your well-wishes. I appreciate it!

  7. Tahlitha Chadwick April 21, 2012 / 6:31 AM

    I enjoyed your story, Janna, beautifully written.

    “Sometimes God responds to prayers with a “no” (like a parent does when a child wants a candy bar for dinner). The child may not like the answer, but the parent knows more about nutrition.”

    I guess we could conclude that ‘our goodies’ don’t compare to God’s glory.

    • jannatwrites April 22, 2012 / 12:57 AM

      Thank you so much for stopping by to read it, Tahlitha. I like your conclusion – nothing compares to God’s glory 🙂

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