Age…What A Prankster

Age is a funny thing….not funny as in the belly laugh that comes after a good joke’s punch line.  It’s more like the ‘funny’ when you discover the milk is almost out-of-date, or ‘funny’ like when the person in line in front of you buys a winning lottery ticket.  The thing about getting older is that it isn’t very funny, at least until we get a bit older and look back on it…and then realize those were the ‘good old days’.

For instance, I remember in my twenties, I noticed the first fine wrinkles around my eyes when I laughed.  It bothered me to find that my appearance was the roller coaster at the top of the highest peak and I would soon enter the downward plummet.  I figured I could either put my hands up in the air and enjoy the ride, or go plastic.  (Plastic isn’t good for the environment, so I chose to take the ride…but my well-moisturized hands are hanging on tight :))

Now, I can laugh at the horror of my discovery and my silly reaction to it.  Mostly because God has blessed me with eyesight that gets worse every year, so I can’t see the deepening of wrinkles even with my nose touching the bathroom mirror.  To my eyes, I haven’t aged a bit!

There is a downside to this blessing of deteriorating eyesight though, besides the obvious not being able to read the TV listings without getting off the couch.  At first, I planned to save myself the embarrassment by not sharing my story.  Then, I thought about it for a few days and decided it didn’t make sense to start sparing myself embarrassment at this stage in my life.  So, here goes:

Last week, in the early morning darkness, I prepared to go to work.  Half asleep, I packed myself breakfast and lunch to eat at work, woke the kids up and got dressed.  It was time to brush my teeth and put on some make-up.  I reached for the tube on my vanity top and squeezed some of the white paste onto my toothbrush.  When I brought the toothbrush to my mouth, something seemed off.

Eenie, Meenie, Miney Mo...

I sniffed my toothbrush again…definitely wrong.  I looked down on the vanity and saw two tubes.  I flipped both of them over and was immediately aware of my mistake.

Oops....

I have been having neck and shoulder pain, bad enough that I’d resorted to using smelly muscle cream.  I’m too young to smell like an eighty-five-year old man, but I ran out of the odorless stuff.  Yet I’m old enough to realize I’d rather stink without a headache than smell nice with one.

I had a 50/50 shot to pick the correct tube and of course, I got it wrong.  Without my glasses on, the tubes looked the same and I almost brushed my teeth with cold/hot muscle cream.  Thank goodness my sense of smell is better than my eyesight.  I’m also thankful I didn’t have the odorless cream.

Age is funny that way.  It will bless you and kick you in the shins at the same time.

This (tooth)brush with disaster (a bit melodramatic?) brought to mind a story my parents told me about fifteen years ago:  They were on vacation (I don’t remember where, now…another sign of aging, I suppose…) and they had been suffering with allergies.  For several days, they took the pills and couldn’t figure out why their stuffy heads weren’t getting any better.  Finally, one of them put their glasses on to read the package.  It turns out they had been taking Imodium instead of allergy medicine.

For years, they have endured my relentless teasing (“Remember the vacation you went on and didn’t have to poop once?” or “Your allergies are bad?  Have you tried Imodium?”)  I couldn’t believe they could make such an obvious error.

I can believe it now, and am a bit frightened by this glimpse into my future.  How about we keep this toothpaste mishap to ourselves?

Have you had a similar experience?  (Please say ‘yes’ and make me feel better 🙂)

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31 thoughts on “Age…What A Prankster

  1. pattyabr January 17, 2012 / 5:50 AM

    Yes 🙂 I hope you teeth and neck feel better soon

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:36 PM

      Thanks, Patty. I feel (a little) better 🙂

      By the way, teeth are completely fine, but my neck is still a mess!

  2. Tori Nelson January 17, 2012 / 6:29 AM

    Ickkkk. I am still gagging just thinking of a mouth full of cold/hot cream!!!

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:37 PM

      I’m so glad I caught it in time, Tori, because that would’ve been nasty!

  3. pattisj January 17, 2012 / 11:16 AM

    Your secret is safe with me. Hmm how does one re-blog a post? lol
    Funny thing about age, I can’t remember doing that. But it does seem I had a mix-up of sorts in the spice cabinet. Some of them look similar, and I put cinnamon in chili. Now I just don’t cook.

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:40 PM

      Cinnamon chili does sound kind of gross, Patti! I like your solution, though 🙂

  4. suzicate January 17, 2012 / 11:41 AM

    So glad you found out before you put it in your mouth!

  5. Debbie January 17, 2012 / 2:50 PM

    Janna, this is too funny! Sorry I can’t say I’ve done anything even remotely like that, but your secret is safe with me! Oh, my, what a blessing your sense of smell is working correctly!

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:41 PM

      Well, I’m glad you’ve got yourself together, Debbie 🙂 I am happy that my allergies aren’t acting up right now or I’d have been in trouble.

  6. clarbojahn January 17, 2012 / 4:42 PM

    I’ve heard similar horror stories.
    Take care. 😉

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:42 PM

      Thanks for stopping by, Clar. I put the tubes face up now (until my neck loosens up and I can ditch the smelly cream.)

  7. nrhatch January 17, 2012 / 6:33 PM

    And it’s all DOWNHILL from here, Janna.

    As you noted, if our eyesight fades fast enough . . . we’ll NEVER realize how old we look to others. 😉

    • jannatwrites January 17, 2012 / 10:45 PM

      Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (That’s me on the downhill run.)

      My eyes must be pretty bad, because I don’t notice the extra ten pounds I’ve gained, either…until I see myself in a picture!

  8. Widdershins January 18, 2012 / 12:26 AM

    smelly muscle cream is also the sign of an elite athlete … you could go either way with this one! … heh, heh, heh.

    • jannatwrites January 18, 2012 / 8:00 PM

      Hahaha….elite athlete…I’m sorry, but if you’d met me, you’d know how funny that is 🙂

      I could win a brownie eating competition, though!

      Thanks for the comment and the laugh, Widdershins. (I feel my muscles building already.)

  9. knotrune January 18, 2012 / 3:23 AM

    I’ve tried to make coffee with cold water from an unboiled kettle… but that was an early morning thing rather than an age thing.

    • jannatwrites January 18, 2012 / 8:04 PM

      Cold coffee isn’t that bad. The early morning goofs get worse with age, Knotrune!

  10. Scriptor Obscura January 18, 2012 / 10:15 PM

    Oh, Janna, this one made me laugh out loud and chuckle to myself! Thank you so much for giving me a smile and a laugh today, I really needed it! Your blog is great 😀

    • jannatwrites January 19, 2012 / 7:38 PM

      I’m glad you liked it, Scriptor. I, too, can laugh only because I caught my error before brushing my teeth!

      Thanks for reading – I appreciate your visit 🙂

  11. mairzeebp January 19, 2012 / 4:55 AM

    Oh my goodness they probably didn’t poop for a month!!

    We all make mistakes like this. And you’re right, age does bless you and kick you in the shins sometimes but it always keeps you on your toes. Sometimes I like to kick back but then I realize it’s not good for my karma so I smile, pick myself up and move on (while waving my angry fist in the air cursing the wind…very mature I know :). Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pour myself a new bowl of cereal. One with milk instead of orange juice this time :).

    • jannatwrites January 19, 2012 / 7:57 PM

      I had so much fun teasing them, I never did ask how well it worked. That fell under the “TMI” category 🙂

      A little fist waving is good for us once in a while, Mairzeebp. You cracked me up with your orange juice cereal comment. Thanks for that 🙂

    • sonsothunder January 21, 2012 / 11:13 PM

      Milk instead of OJ…HEHE, that was funny too…
      I love funny

  12. Jesse January 19, 2012 / 10:13 AM

    I’ve actually been noticing the same things lately. For example, I’m starting to notice my taste have drastically changed since I turned twenty-one (or rather first started drinking) and been trying different things . I wasn’t a fan of liquorice but then I had Jagermeister, I didn’t like V8 but then I had a Bloody Marry, and I really hated cold pizza but then I had Pabst Blue Ribbon; now I enjoy them all (well maybe not so much the cold pizza and the pabst). I guess this is my bildungsroman… yup, I guess nobody will be jumping to write my biography (or autobiography) any time soon.

    • jannatwrites January 19, 2012 / 8:07 PM

      First of all…man, you make me feel old. I stretch my tastes by adding a splash of lemon to my peach blend white tea 🙂

      Your changing tastes may be age-related, but I think it’s youth rather than what seems to be my issue. (Watch it, there….I’m not that old ;))

      Thanks for the chuckle, Jesse. I’ll look for that autobiography. (Hey, if no one else will do it, you might have to do it yourself!)

    • sonsothunder January 21, 2012 / 11:18 PM

      Now..How do I get Jesse Wilcox to paint a portrait of me? Ooops, never mind..he’s dead, I REALLY don’t want to visit his studio just yet…
      Bless You
      paul

      • jannatwrites January 21, 2012 / 11:36 PM

        Ha! I think you answered your own question. I hope you don’t visit his studio any time soon 🙂

  13. sonsothunder January 21, 2012 / 8:53 PM

    I know right? I mean about the TV listings… they are adamant that every ones next TV set has to take up an entire wall. Oh, and about the toothpaste deal…I wont tell anyone…Just, promise me you’ll not keep any “Preperation -H” tubes on the same shelf, else, you may not be able to talk, as well as see.
    Anyway, this was fun…hehe

    Oh, did I forget to tell you I presented you with the “Readers Appreciation Award”? You can read about it, and pick the Award Badge up from my side bar anytime. If you choose to accept it that is. Bless You
    paul

    • jannatwrites January 21, 2012 / 10:54 PM

      Someone needs to make a TV remote control with a “zoom in” button on it 🙂

      I don’t have Preparation H, but should I ever get any I will make sure I store it in a safer location! I think that would be worse than the hot/cold cream.

      Thank you so much for the award. I am honored to be included in your list! I appreciate you visiting my blog, Paul.

  14. Epizeuxis January 25, 2012 / 10:16 AM

    That’s quite a funny incident Jenna.. I hope things are in order now. 🙂

    • jannatwrites January 25, 2012 / 9:37 PM

      Doing much better now, Epizeuxis. I moved the icy/hot cream to avoid another close call 🙂

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