Spirituality is the one thing I can let slide without immediate consequences. If I don’t help the kids with homework, they don’t learn; if I don’t clean the floors, the playground sand takes over; if I don’t write, I go crazy…and that’s not good for anyone. And if I don’t tap into my spiritual self? I function just fine, until I realize I’m lost.
Lacking inspiration, I read through several entries in my Life’s Simple Guide to God book. In the past, I have read single entries that spoke to me. This week, several entries seemed like they were written for me.
- I read about how our burdens become lighter when we turn them over to God. “If you’re carrying too many burdens – even if they seem to be good and noble – lighten your load.”
- Another entry reminded of the importance of fully trusting God. “When your heart is open, your life is open for a miracle.”
- Finally, I read an inspirational piece urging the replacement of fear with faith. I like the quote they included, by Frederick W. Cropp – “There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.”
Earlier this week, I took my older son to a Cub Scout orientation meeting because he’s decided he wants to join. As I signed him up, the den leader explained how 5 new boys were signing up and they would likely need to start a new den. I thought, ‘Okay, fine.’ But when he didn’t break eye contact, and continued with, “We need parent volunteers,” I squirmed a bit.
“I can bake cookies or something.” I hoped this would appease him.
Nope. I heard the Jaws music in the back of my mind. I felt trapped.
“We need den leaders,” he said.
“I’m not the leadership type.”
“Neither am I,” the man responded. “At our next meeting, I’ll make a hard press for volunteers to step up.”
I thought that was a hard press.
I can’t come up with a reason why I’m not the leadership type, other than the fact I don’t like it. I’ve managed people, but it’s easier not to.
I can, however, think of other excuses reasons not to volunteer. (1) I don’t have time, (2) I don’t know how to interact with a group of five ten-year-olds, (3) I have zero knowledge of Cub Scout activities (4) I’m afraid.
There it is. The thought of leading a group of kids in anything makes me break out into a cold sweat. Quite a feat considering we’ve had record high heat for several weeks now.
So, I turn this burden over to God. I open my heart and trust him to guide my decision of whether to lead or not to lead. If this challenge is necessary for my growth, then I will accept it. If my load is to be lightened by passing up this request, then that’s how should be. As long as fear isn’t the deciding factor, then I will know faith prevailed.
Is it wrong that I secretly hope that someone else steps up first?
How do you work through dilemmas? Do you follow your head, your heart or both? How does faith factor in? When do you find peace with your choices?