I’ve got a problem that I’ve been obsessing over thinking about for nearly a week now. It’s a family issue that I’m not sure directly affects me, but speaking up has an equal chance of helping, or making it significantly worse. Part of me suggests, “say something; you could be the bridge for communication.” The other part warns, “stay out of it; you could cause irreparable damage.”
The pre-spiritual journey me would continue down this anxiety-ridden path, replaying the possible outcomes (mostly disastrous) over and over until my mind grew numb from exhaustion, leaving me as frustrated as my seventh-grade self with an unsolved Rubik’s Cube after several wasted hours days weeks – okay, I never could figure that thing out, but that’s a different story.
This time, I realized the road I was taking and decided to refer to my Study Bible for help. I read several passages about “What to read when you are seeking God’s direction” but one in particular settled in my mind.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”
Accompanying Study Text:
“Is it a sin to doubt? It’s not a sin to struggle with questions of who God is and what it means to belong to him. Those are natural questions anyone seeking God will ask. Rather, James condemns an attitude that questions whether or not God and his Word can be trusted. A mistrustful, suspicious attitude toward God poisons our spirit, making joy impossible.”
This text spoke to me because I struggle with doubt. I wonder if I’m living up to God’s plans for me. I worry that God has given me a sign and I missed it. When I think about conversations I’ve had, I am uncertain if my words were spoken as I’d intended. I have second-guessed many decisions, big and small.
These verses tell me that I need to clear my heart, pray for guidance, and trust the direction my heart leads me – to trust that God is leading me. Yes, this is easier said than done.