I wasn’t going to post until Sunday, but I was inspired. April Fool’s Day is a bit of a tradition in our department at work. For the past two years, we have harassed our boss, and this year was no different.
Our plan “A” didn’t work out so well. We (okay, “I”) painted the tips of all of his pens with clear nail polish. After four coats (with fifteen minutes of dry time in between) I tried to write with them. Of course, all but two of the pens wrote perfectly fine. Sorry, Sally Hansen, but your Diamond Strength No-Chip nail enamel was no match for the super-human strength I exerted when pressing the pen tip onto the paper.
Fifteen minutes before our boss normally arrives, a co-worker lamented that if we only had string, we could suspend the things on his desk top from the ceiling. The dim light bulb flickered in my head. I didn’t have string, but I had a nearly-full tape dispenser. Good employees are able to think under pressure and come up with creative solutions to problems; good employees can cover their tails with a plan “B” when the original plan falls apart. (Sadly, smarter good employees don’t target the boss.)
Proving myself to be the less intelligent variety of employee, I immediately ran into my boss’ office, grabbed all of the pens from on top of his desk and in his drawer and began the task of taping the pens to the ceiling. When I ran out of writing implements, I grabbed notebooks, lotion, pretzels – his cup; anything lightweight enough to suspend with Scotch tape.
At first, one of my co-workers helped steady the table I stood on and handed me pens. That changed at some point and I realized the existence of evidence that linked me to the “crime.” I should’ve been worried, but it didn’t matter. If the past is any indication of my future (or present) actions, he would know that I had something to do with it anyway.
We had another part of plan “A” that didn’t fail completely. A co-worker ordered an Annoy-A-Tron and set it to a “beep” sound. I was in a meeting in his office and no one commented on the intermittent beeps. After lunch, they changed it to a cricket chirping. This, my boss noticed and was able to track down the device before I left for the day. I hope my co-worker gets it back so we can do better next time. (A good employee always looks for ways to improve his or her performance.)
The last prank we did was after lunch. I placed three cups upside down on his desk. Under two of them, I had innocuous items, but the third had shredded paper, salt and pepper packets and condiment packets (we cleaned out our desks.) When my boss returned from lunch, he said that in light of the previous events of the day, he was reluctant to lift up the cups. I told him I’d do it for him to prove it wasn’t bad. (A good employee offers to help the boss without being asked.)
I lifted up the cup to reveal a fun size candy bar (from his candy dish.) “See, it’s not bad,” I said with a smile and started to leave.
“Wait, what about the other cups?” He asked, still skeptical. (A good boss knows not to put is trust in scheming employees on April Fool’s Day.)
“What about them?” I asked.
He lifted up each of the cups, finding a note that read, “Happy April Fool’s Day,” and the last cup, which held the shredded paper mess. He laughed and shook his head (and called me a “dog.”)
Thank goodness the boss has a sense of humor…and that my performance review isn’t due anytime soon. I am a (fairly) good employee 364 days a year, but I can’t resist the lure of the foolish antics that beg to be set free on April first.
Do you do any pranks (big or small) on April 1st? What’s the best prank you ever pulled?