Letter To An Over-Hyped Underachiever

Dear Valentine’s Day,

I feel compelled to write you on this day colored pink and red (and sometimes white) – colors that have become synonymous with hearts and cupids.   You have instilled panic and fear into thousands of men and women, who struggle to come up with the perfect trinket to give their significant others as a symbol of their undying love.  Do you not realize the pressure you put on the masses to compete with gifts of Valentine’s Days past – or old boyfriends/girlfriends?

Why must we feel obligated to give a gift of love on your day?  Shouldn’t this be done on any day, or every day throughout the year?  Does a gift of a dozen over-priced red roses, a sappy card and a heart-shaped box of candy on your day make up for 364 days of thoughtlessness?  I think not.

I want–no, I deserve –to be appreciated every day.  I don’t expect gifts (things) every day, although chocolate once in a while is a nice gesture.  What I want doesn’t even cost a dime, which in this economy is a good thing.  I want hubby to leave me a post-it note with words of love, or cook dinner, or vacuum the floors without me asking him to, or just tell me why I’m special to him.  Yes, these are things I want throughout the year.  I want him to do them because he wants to – not because the calendar tells him he should.

You know what, Valentine’s Day?  You’re nothing but a bully.  Yeah, that’s right – a bully.  But you’re not going to force me into submission because I fought back.  Sure, I bought my husband his favorite cookies and a card, but I gave them to him on Saturday (February 12th), not the 14th.  Take that, Valentine’s Day.


JannaTWrites, a peaceful protestor of obligatory gifts of love

Is Valentine’s Day  your friend or foe?  Do you love it or hate it?  I want to know…


37 thoughts on “Letter To An Over-Hyped Underachiever

  1. duke1959 February 14, 2011 / 8:08 AM

    Very well said. According to the National Retail Federation they estimate around 16 billion dollars will be spent on Valentines Day this year.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 8:50 PM

      Wow, that a lot of $$. I guess the economy isn’t sagging right now 😉

  2. Carol Ann Hoel February 14, 2011 / 10:25 AM

    Ha! My hubby is not romantic, at all; therefore, I will not get a gift of any kind today. But, he is my hubby with love everyday of the year. I have to be honest and say that I wouldn’t mind a romantic gesture on Valentine’s Day, but it is what it is. Just another day with the man I love. Blessings to you, Janna…

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 8:54 PM

      I’m glad you share love everyday – even if chocolates aren’t involved. My husband remembers the important dates (birthday/anniversary) but he rarely gives a gift on that day. It’s most often a random day that could be a couple weeks before the actual date. Keeps me on my toes…

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Valentine’s Day 🙂

  3. Aligaeta February 14, 2011 / 11:48 AM

    I’m all for showing the love everyday!

  4. Tori Nelson February 14, 2011 / 12:28 PM

    Thank ya Lawd! I couldn’t agree more! I’ve explained this to every man I know: A loaded dishwasher, a pet taken for a walk, a diaper changed.These things are FAR more appreciated by your wife than over-priced flowers. Amen sister! You keep that VDay bully at bay.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:03 PM

      Thanks, Tori! I know I’m strange, but I don’t like getting flowers because I get depressed when they die and I have to throw them away. I’m way too practical. I have a couple pieces of nice jewelry – both of which my husband insisted on buying. I protested and lost.

      Nothing is hotter than a man changing diapers or cleaning dishes 😉

  5. SAS Fiction Girl February 14, 2011 / 2:16 PM

    I gave it my own spin over on my vet clinic blog – http://littlecreekvet.wordpress.com.
    I’m a fan of Valentine’s Day, personally.
    I don’t have a significant other, but if I did,
    I certainly wouldn’t want to be left out of the fun.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:24 PM

      I read the post you linked to. I liked the questionnaire and the fact that only 7.a. mattered…made me chuckle 🙂

      I don’t mind when others brag about what their significant others did for V-Day. I can enjoy the stories and don’t feel left out of the fun at all. If I were the bragging type (which I’m not), I think it would be more fun to talk up a romantic evening evening he planned on his own (getting a sitter, making dinner reservations, etc.) on just another run-of-the-mill day. “What’s the occasion?” they would ask. I’d say, “No reason. Just because it was Thursday.”

      To me, this is truly romantic because it’s not expected.

      I hope you had a happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. widdershins February 14, 2011 / 2:16 PM

    From the time I learned what a hyped-up fake concoction of consumerism that bully was I’ve never paid him any heed. All the other celebration days that are actually (sorta) based in reality are bad enough.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:30 PM

      Most holidays are too commercialized, widdershins. I just saw Easter candy in a store over the weekend. (I still don’t know how the Easter Bunny became associated with the day that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus.)

      Good news is that there’s chocolate for every occasion 🙂

      • widdershins February 15, 2011 / 2:32 PM

        The Easter Bunny used to be known as Oestra, one of the aspects of The Great Mother Of Us All, to whom the celebration of Imbolg, (or Imbolc) later christianised into Candlemas, was dedicated.

        As part of the Maiden (or Daughter)/Mother/Crone trinity, Oestra represented the Mother aspect, fertility.

        Among other things, Imbolg celebrates the promise of a fertile new year, and bunnys, fertile little critters that they are, have become a sanitised symbol of a very potent time for human survival. (If the fields weren’t fertile and the crops failed then the people faced the very real threat of starvation)

        In an attempt to wean those nasty pagans away from their ‘heathen’ rituals, the dates that the pagans celebrated their solstices, Equinoxes, and Cross-quarter days (Imbolg, Beltane, Lammas or Lughnasadh and Samhain) were co-opted and shifted a day or three sideways. According to the Old or Julian Calendar (most westernised cultures use the Gregorian Calendar these days) Imbolg fell on 12th February.

        We put all that together and …. Bunnys at Easter!

        • jannatwrites February 15, 2011 / 10:11 PM

          My, my somebody has done some research 🙂 Thanks for sharing the information about the Easter Bunny. I’ve always wondered but have been too busy/lazy to look it up. Not good qualities about me, I know.

  7. Ollin February 14, 2011 / 3:45 PM

    Stick it to Valentine’s Day, Janna! Stick it to–it!

    Thank you. It’s a great reminder that we should cherish our loved one’s every day of the year, and not just once a year.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:32 PM

      Thanks, Ollin. I still believe in special surprises, but it’s more fun to do them on random days where it is completely unexpected.

  8. Brown Eyed Mystic February 14, 2011 / 6:55 PM

    HA. I bet the bully V day is hiding somewhere after all this verbal lashing! 😉


    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:34 PM

      Aww, V-Day didn’t go anywhere. I wouldn’t want it to hide because many people do enjoy it, but it did leave me alone 😉

      The kids enjoyed it…and I found out my five year old has a girlfriend today. Love is in the air!

  9. Jiahui February 14, 2011 / 6:58 PM

    I thought V Day is just a day to celebrate love. Much like birthdays or anniversaries.

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:38 PM

      Some do look at it this way. To me, the difference is that a birthday or anniversary actually occured on a given day. Isn’t love present all year? Doing special things as inspiration strikes throughout the year carries more meaning. (For instance, if my husband loves shrimp scampi but it’s not my favorite meal, I might fix it for him to celebrate something good that happened, or to cheer him up after a rough day, or for no reason at all – just because I know he likes it.)

  10. J. P. Cabit February 14, 2011 / 7:16 PM

    Ha ha!!! 😀 Is this the way God feels about Sundays…?

    • J. P. Cabit February 14, 2011 / 7:17 PM

      I mean, Sundays are great and all, but they should be the ONLY day for him…

      • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 9:40 PM

        It’s the same idea – God should be in our hearts everyday – not just for an hour or so on Sunday when we’re in church.

  11. Amanda Hoving February 14, 2011 / 9:45 PM

    I’m right with you in the peaceful protesting line, Janna. My husband and I do not exchange gifts, just cards and some extra googly eyes at each other. 😉

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 10:45 PM

      Love the ‘extra googly eyes’ – that’s impressive when you’ve got kids in the house 🙂 Hope you had a great Valentine’s Day, Amanda!

    • jannatwrites February 14, 2011 / 10:47 PM

      Thanks, Patty! That’s very nice of you (was going to write ‘sweet’ but that would’ve elicited groans from anyone reading this comment.)

      I do appreciate you thinking of me for this award 🙂

    • jannatwrites February 15, 2011 / 10:06 PM

      I read your post and you are right – it can only get better 🙂 (That’s the good thing about bad experiences.) Glad you liked the post and shared the same sentiment, CD

  12. Barb February 15, 2011 / 1:02 PM

    Maybe because I never had anyone to celebrate it with, I never really care about Valentine Day. Then this year I discovered it’s a Medieval holiday about love – not necessarily the romantic type. So I sort of celebrated on my own.
    But then, I’m the sociopath who hates ALL public/national/official holidays – including birthdays – and buys gifts if and when she finds them… 😉

    • jannatwrites February 15, 2011 / 10:08 PM

      Anytime gifts are lots of fun because people tend to expect them (or at least not be surprised by them) on birthdays/holidays. I’m glad you found your own way to celebrate, Barb 🙂

  13. Desi February 16, 2011 / 7:01 AM

    V’tine’s day? Friend or foe? IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL! 🙂 16 billion dollars spent for V’tine’s? It’s as if they’re condemning those starving Africans to death. Just saying.

    Anyway, thank you for putting it up nicely. I enjoyed my stay 🙂

    Keep writing!


    • jannatwrites February 17, 2011 / 6:46 AM

      Hmmm…helping starving children (anywhere in the world) would be a worthy cause indeed. That is is one of many personal choices that can make a difference in the world. Sometimes I think we (I) get so wrapped up in ourselves (myself) that the global concern is dwarfed by immediate ‘wants.’

      I’m glad you enjoyed your stay, Desi. Hope to see you around again!

  14. deehsarsiavo February 17, 2011 / 6:41 AM

    Valentine’s Day is soon going to usurp Christmas, Hannukah, and every other major shopping-oriented holiday. And that day will not be good. *shudders*

    lovely post as always ma’am, I share your sentiments exactly!

    • jannatwrites February 17, 2011 / 7:17 AM

      I agree, Deehsarsiavo. With all of the shopping, it can be difficult to hold on to the real meaning of the holidays, and that is sad. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and shared your thoughts.

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