Life Happens And Writing Will Too…Someday Soon

In my last post, I announced my decision to change my personal writing goals to ease up the pressure on myself.  Up until then, I had more challenging writing goals and would come down hard on myself when I couldn’t meet them (which was most of the time).

Over the last few days, I’ve wondered if a part of me knew life would necessitate a change in my views and goals.  (I haven’t written a single thing all week and I’m not the least bit bothered about it). 

Earlier this week, I took my little one to the pediatrician because he wasn’t responding to medication as well as we thought he should.  Our pediatrician sent me on my way with specific orders to take him to the emergency room immediately, without stopping anywhere.  She said many words, but all I heard was “meningitis, blood work and spinal tap.”  I obeyed – calling my husband and mom along the way.

Within minutes of arriving, my son left a mess all over the floor for housekeeping, and I got to see the receptionist’s fancy footwork as she quickly stepped aside to avoid it.  He was in a room soon after and I had reinforcements (husband and mom) before I knew it.  I have no idea about the actual time that elapsed, because I didn’t have a watch on.  Even if I did, I don’t know if I would’ve remembered to look at it. 

I’ve spent most of my recent days at the hospital with my little one.  I left once to get cleaned up because I didn’t move as fast as the receptionist did and I couldn’t stand the smell any longer.  Bath and Body Works lotion never smelled so good to me 🙂 I sneaked in half an hour to check e-mails and reply to a couple blog comments, but I didn’t have a chance to visit the blogs I follow.  (I miss them!)

My little one was discharged just in time for us to take my older son out to dinner for his birthday.  We came home and had cake and ice cream;  the evening was all about him.  For the last few days, other family members have taken care of my older one so my husband and I could be at the hospital.  I felt like we abandoned him and I hope his night made him feel special.  (He gets a big family birthday dinner this weekend, too.)

Writing won’t happen tonight; maybe it will tomorrow.  I don’t have imagined goals put on me anymore, so I’m allowing myself this break; guilt-free.  Life may have stunted my writing progress in the short-term, but I have a feeling the range of emotions I’ve experienced over the last few days will come out in my writing at some point, when I fully comprehend them.  (Fear, worry, helplessness and relief have all overwhelmed me during the past few days.) 

Each day, I acknowledge the blessings in my life.  I purposefully remind myself of all the wonderful gifts (people and friendships) I have and not the “things” I don’t have.  When I check on the kids before I go to bed tonight, I will see their chests rise and fall with each breath and feel the blessing much deeper than I did even last week.

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8 thoughts on “Life Happens And Writing Will Too…Someday Soon

  1. Lua August 21, 2010 / 12:09 AM

    Oh Jenna- I’m so sorry to hear about your little one but so happy that he’s OK and you made home in time for your other son’s birthday.
    I’m also finding out that it’s OK to take a break from writing sometimes… We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves 🙂

    • jannatwrites August 21, 2010 / 12:18 AM

      Hehehe. Not being hard on myself is a hard lesson learned 🙂 It’s one I’m constantly working to get the hang of! Thanks for your comment; I’m also very pleased that everything did work out.

  2. chlost August 21, 2010 / 8:42 PM

    Oh, this brought back somany memories. Our youngest had meningitis at about 16 mos. of age. My regular pediatrician was gone, so a partner examined him and sent us home, telling me in a very patronizing manner that I was overreacting and he just had the flu. We sent home with him for the evening, but brought him in again in the morning. I have always been so thankful that he made it through the night. My reinforcement was my sister, who always told me how scared she was that he would stop breathing on the way to the hospital. He is now married with 2 little ones of his own.
    I am happy that your son is okay, too, and that the brother was able to feel special as well. This parenting stuff takes a lot out of you sometimes, and the writing will always be there.

    Take care of yourself!

    • jannatwrites August 21, 2010 / 9:58 PM

      Chlost, thanks for sharing your story. I do think it would be a bit scarier with a child that young because they can’t tell you what’s bothering them. It can be hard to know when an illness is a run-of-the-mill variety or something much worse. I’m glad to hear that he grew up healthy (I love happy endings)!

  3. Brown Eyed Mystic August 22, 2010 / 7:21 PM

    What a candid, lovely post.
    Janna, I hope the little one is doing great. My best wises and love. 🙂

    -BrownEyed

    • jannatwrites August 22, 2010 / 8:07 PM

      Thank you, BrownEyed. He bounces back quickly and is just as rambunctious as ever. It’s hard to believe it was only a week ago when he was so sick. It doesn’t seem fair that when I get sick it seems to take months before I feel my normal self!

  4. aloysa August 25, 2010 / 7:32 PM

    Don’t be hard on yourself. I try to balance work, writing, bloging, reading, working out… It sometimes it seems that 24 hours is not enough. And I don’t have kids! Good luck to you! You have a lot on your plate.

    • jannatwrites August 25, 2010 / 8:22 PM

      Thanks for the words of encouragement, Aloysa! I’ve had a good writing week so far this week, which sometimes happens after a down week (yay!) I do agree that sometimes 24 hours doesn’t seem like enough. But, then I think if the days were longer, I’d just cram more stuff into them anyway.

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