Manuscript – 1, Author – 0

I’m still working on revising the manuscript of my first novel and this is how my eyes see it right now:

Manuscript Crazy
Can't see straight

When the words of my manuscript make as much sense as the letters on an optometrist’s eye chart, I think it’s a sign that I need a break.  So, I decided to write about something not related to novel writing.  (I apologize in advance).

Recently, I heard someone use the phrase ‘You can’t put lipstick on a pig.”  Though it’s a colorful way to say ‘you can’t make something it isn’t’, I have to wonder:  how many people have actually tried to put lipstick on a pig just to prove it can be done?  It seems like it would be a difficult task, with the thin lips, large snout and all.  (If you Google the phrase “Lipstick on a pig”, there are some funny photo shop pictures).  This got me thinking about variations of this phrase that never caught on:

You can’t put a dress on a bull.  (I wouldn’t try this…would you?)

You can’t put eyelashes on a fish. (Poor fish.  Would the lashes even stick?)

You can’t put ballet shoes on a moose and call him a dancer.  (But he would be an instant You Tube sensation.)

Here’s the score:  manuscript – 1, author – 0.  Tomorrow is a new day.  I may be down for today, but in the end I WILL get this manuscript submission-ready.

I think the content of this post is another sign that I need a break….a REALLY looooong break!  If you’ve heard a funny phrase that made you laugh, please share…laughter is an excellent stress reliever!


4 thoughts on “Manuscript – 1, Author – 0

  1. Donald Mills May 12, 2010 / 7:24 PM

    Good luck with the manuscript.

    My favorite has always been, you can’t put mutton chops on a miniature dachshund. I really have no idea what it means – but I do believe it to be true.

    • jannatwrites May 12, 2010 / 7:49 PM

      Interesting…I’m not familiar with that saying (neither is Google). I don’t know what it means either, but it sounds funny! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. allihurley May 18, 2010 / 9:28 PM

    Funny post! Maybe you should do a comedy novel. Or are you just slap happy at this point? I’ve been there…

    • jannatwrites May 18, 2010 / 10:22 PM

      Glad you liked it! When I don’t have anything new on the writing front, I just like to have fun. Unfortunately, I’m usually goofy like this (my novel is a mystery with humor).

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