Lately, I’ve felt like being a Mom is a job that I need more training for. Many times I’ve asked myself “What am I doing?” I’ve been hard on myself, thinking of all the things I’ve done wrong; the times I’ve yelled when I should have taken a deep breath, the times I’ve rushed to get somewhere when I should have stopped and listened, the times I’ve been annoyed when I should have stopped to enjoy the gifts God has given me. Maybe recognition is the first step to change.
This morning, my older child got up early and (with Daddy’s help) made pancakes with fruit for breakfast in bed. Even though we were out late yesterday spending time with my Mom for Mother’s Day, I recognized the sweetness of the gesture. So what if my eyes could barely see the heart-shaped pancake; I felt the love.
He gave me a gift he made at school and I almost cried. He wrote a fill-in-the blank book that was so special. I learned some things. Apparently, I would most like to vacation in Alberta, Canada – I did not know this until today. I also found out that our time reading together really matters to him because he wrote about it three times in the book. I realized he knows me, even if he doesn’t listen to me much of the time. He correctly named my favorite color as purple, favorite candy as Reese’s and favorite lunch at Red Lobster as popcorn shrimp.
His words help me understand that even though I’m not a perfect Mom (nowhere close), I do have a positive impact on him. With a little patience and a lot of love, he’ll be okay. And, with a little less guilt, I’ll be okay too.
I should note that during all of this, my younger son still slept soundly in bed- he had the right idea.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the hard-working, underappreciated, early rising mothers – enjoy your day (because it’s business as usual tomorrow)!