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April 24, 2012

Saturday Night (October 1989)

Melissa grunted and slammed her round hairbrush onto the vanity top.

“Bangs, stand UP!” she gritted through clenched teeth.  Brian would pick her up soon for their first date – her first date ever.  Forbidden to date before her sixteenth birthday, she celebrated that milestone two weeks ago.  Now, finally, she could go to the movies with Brian!

The thought made her squeal.

With new determination, Melissa spritzed her bangs with more hairspray, pulled them up with the round brush and blasted them with the hairdryer on high heat.  After a full minute, she turned off the dryer and set it on the counter.  She halted when she heard her mom’s laughter.  She listened harder.  A male voice….Brian.

“No!  This can’t be happening.”  In a panic, she yanked the brush from her bangs and smoothed the frizzies.  She colored her lips fuchsia and cringed when she heard Brian laugh.  She swiped blush across her cheeks.  Her mom’s muffled voice again, then more laughter from both of them.  Her stomach sank.  Have to go.  NOW.

She flung the bathroom door open and sprinted down the hallway, coming to an abrupt halt when she saw her mom sitting next to Brian on the sofa, a photo album spread across their laps.

Horrified, Melissa stood mute, and unable to move.

“And look at this one.  It’s one of my favorites.  Isn’t that bottom lip just adorable?”  Mom gushed.  “She was cranky that day and my, can that girl pout!”

Brian laughed.  He laughed.

That night, Melissa learned her mom could not keep childhood pictures in confidence.

Years later, Melissa found and displayed her earliest photography attempts; the vintage “just woke up” pictures of her mom peppered her Facebook wall.

It turned out that confidence betrayal was a hereditary trait.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-

This is my first entry in the Week Twenty-Four Trifecta Writing Challenge.  The instructions:  write a 33-word to 133-word story using “confidence” with the following definition:

Confidence (noun):

a: a relation of trust or intimacy <took his friend into his confidence>

b : reliance on another’s discretion <their story was told in strictest confidence>

c : support especially in a legislative body <vote of confidence>

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48 Comments leave one →
  1. April 24, 2012 1:30 PM

    I think the twist to betray confidence works. Judges like twists. And on a grand scale this betrayal is foolishly insignificant but certainly not in the eyes of a 16-year old. Revenge tops off the story perfectly.

    • April 24, 2012 5:36 PM

      Thanks for taking the time to read and share your opinion, Carl. In the adult sense, I wouldn’t call it a betrayal, more of an embarrassing misstep, but to a 16-year-old….

  2. April 24, 2012 1:55 PM

    Too funny, Janna. I can so see any 16-year-old girl acting just like this! Her mom should have realized “What goes around, comes around.”

    • April 24, 2012 5:34 PM

      Yep, to a normal person, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But 16-year-old girls are not normal :lol: Thanks for taking the time to read the story, Debbie!

  3. April 24, 2012 2:03 PM

    lol Karma =-)

    Sometimes we just cant avoid the sweet revenge of pay back ! haha

    • April 24, 2012 5:37 PM

      Like most revenge, I suspect it wasn’t as sweet as she hoped. (As I get older, I like even the ‘bad’ pictures of my youth more….thesee photos may not have bothered the mom at all :) )

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Evelyn. I appreciate it!

  4. April 24, 2012 5:46 PM

    Cute, cute, cute! I love how you always end your stories with such a great ‘bang’!

    • April 24, 2012 5:54 PM

      Thanks for the compliment, Sandra. This was my silly story for the prompt. But I’m kind of partial to my serious one that I hope to have done for tomorrow :)

  5. April 24, 2012 6:15 PM

    You must have been in my room on my first date – frizzy hir and all.

  6. April 24, 2012 6:16 PM

    Parents can sometimes be so insensitive…

    • April 24, 2012 8:01 PM

      Sometimes, yes…but sometimes it’s hard to know what will embarrass a child (though baby pics are a sure bet!) Thanks for taking the time to read my story, Eric.

  7. April 24, 2012 6:37 PM

    Bwahahaha! This is SO wonderful, Janna. :D

    So . . . memory OR imagination? Or a bit of both woven together to create the magic?

    • April 24, 2012 8:05 PM

      Glad you were entertained, Nancy. You are correct when you guessed a mixture of memory and imagination

      memory: never could get my bangs to stand up tall enough – no matter how many cans of Aqua Net I used :)

      fiction: My first date was not with a Brian, I was 15 (Sophomore) when I went on my first date and I never ever under any circumstances left a date unattended with my parents ;) (Just in case, you know, they decided to break out the pictures, talk about their latest George Straight album or interrogate him about his “intentions”!)

    • April 25, 2012 5:24 PM

      My dad asked my 12-year-old “boyfriend” what his intentions were towards me. Chris shrugged, and said: “Don’t know. Just wanted to stop by and shoot some pool.”

      Dad then asked about his plans for the future. Chris’s reply, “Well, next year, I plan to graduate from the 8th grade.” :lol:

  8. April 24, 2012 7:01 PM

    Entertaining story, Janna. I enjoyed it. Blessings to you.

    • April 24, 2012 8:06 PM

      Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts on my story, Carol Ann. I hope your husband (and you) had a ‘good’ day today.

  9. April 24, 2012 7:36 PM

    this is really great. nice job.

  10. April 24, 2012 9:25 PM

    Fun story, with reality as a backdrop. Confidence and betrayal are flip sides of the same coin. (whispers… besides isn’t there some type of unwritten rule that ALL parents will embarass their child(ren) at least once with a photo?).

    • April 24, 2012 10:03 PM

      I think it is an unwritten rule, K~…I’m just waiting for my day (if the boys bring their dates home to meet me!) Shhh….keep my intentions in confidence, okay? :wink:

  11. April 25, 2012 3:21 AM

    Totally love this! So clever. I really felt her heartbreak as she came across Brian and mum. And a very witty ending – well done!

    • April 25, 2012 5:03 PM

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, GodGirl! It was fun putting myself in a sixteen-year-old’s shoes (since it was only temporary, that is!)

  12. April 25, 2012 3:57 AM

    I loved this. I loved the mother’s actions, presumably innocent, but taken the wrong way by her daughter. The daughter’s reaction is spot-on.

    • April 25, 2012 5:04 PM

      Thanks for stopping by to read my story, Kelly. I think most things are taken wrong by a teenage daughter :)

  13. April 25, 2012 6:42 AM

    Definitely betrayal, her life was over … ! ;)

    • April 25, 2012 5:05 PM

      I’m sure she was, like, about to die [exaggerated eye roll] :)

      Thanks for visiting and reading the story, Idiosyncratic Eye.

  14. April 25, 2012 9:47 AM

    This is really, really well-written! I like this girl! You write with such a great flow, and I read it as though I were really there watching the scene unfold! Keep-a-goin, girl!

    • April 25, 2012 5:08 PM

      Thanks for the huge compliment, Janet. (You gotta stop that, I might get a big head :lol: ) Only kidding…my inner doubt will knock me into place in no time!

  15. April 25, 2012 10:10 AM

    I love this little story. Of course she is horrified at the very idea of her mother spending time alone with her beau. What 16 year old wouldn’t dread it, knowing how parents humiliate their children so. It doesn’t matter that it’s unintentional. Cute twist with the daughter posting mom’s less than flattering pics on Facebook. What goes around DOES come around.

    • April 25, 2012 5:09 PM

      Thanks for taking the time to read and share your commnet on my story, Sim. It was all harmless in the end (I don’t think any psychiatric care resulted from the trauma!)

  16. Gina permalink
    April 25, 2012 12:26 PM

    Made me want to snicker. Big hair was the thing and loved her prep work for the date. Moms!!!! But great come back from Melissa. Those types of things probably do run in the family.

    • April 25, 2012 7:16 PM

      Ah, yes – some of my best and worst memories involve big hair. Thanks for stopping by to read – I’m glad you enjoyed the story, Gina!

  17. April 25, 2012 6:34 PM

    I really liked this story. It really rings true!

  18. April 26, 2012 10:50 AM

    Lovely read. I enjoyed this response.

  19. April 26, 2012 4:55 PM

    Oh, dear lord, that all was so familiar! Nice read, and made me laugh.

  20. April 26, 2012 9:37 PM

    Ouch, that is rough on the tender psyche of a teenager. Nice use of the word.
    Thanks for joining in the fun. Be sure to come back for the weekend challenge.

  21. May 1, 2012 1:07 PM

    Nice writing, Janna.

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